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Old 04-01-2018, 03:12 PM   #1
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Reaching One's Limit

Well, I'm a Bahá'í, and I know everything about obedience to the laws of one's country, but I notice that I'm reaching my limits.

I work with difficult custody cases and also sometimes deal with cases where children are taken into custody. I see a terrible reality. Our social services have slipped out of legal control, and make their decisions based on prejudice and emotions, making a mockery out of the law. Serious child abuse can be hidden by them. On the other hand, children can be taken into custody for reasons that have little to do with objective facts, but rather with the interests of the administrators to keep their backs clear.

What I see is a strong tendency among social workers to sympathize with the poor and downtrodden, to the extent that they side with the mentally ill, who are not able to provide for themselves, and who actually are the perpetrators of child abuse.

In my view, the relationship between children and parents is just about the holiest thing on earth. I constantly deal with parents, who have their children taken away from them. By the perverted logic of our social services, the children often are taken away from the functioning parent and transferred to the parent, who lives on subsidies. Psychology books tell about childhood traumas. Such things don't exist in the world view of our social services.

And I'm not joking or saying things offhand, based on emotions. I hold a higher degree in Public Administration. I have made in-depth studies of these matters. We are talking about a considerable percentage of all children in my country, who are subjected to a kind of massive reeducation, most likely to ruin them, psychologically and socially. Innocent children being reduced to administrative entitites – rewards given to those with whom the social workers sympathize.

In the end, I feel an increasing sympathy with those parents,who take a stand, based on their primitive gut feelings: "Well, come and get my child, but you'll have to do it while facing a shotgun!"

Best,

from

gnat
 
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Old 04-01-2018, 07:46 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gnat View Post
Well, I'm a Bahá'í, and I know everything about obedience to the laws of one's country, but I notice that I'm reaching my limits.

I work with difficult custody cases and also sometimes deal with cases where children are taken into custody. I see a terrible reality. Our social services have slipped out of legal control, and make their decisions based on prejudice and emotions, making a mockery out of the law. Serious child abuse can be hidden by them. On the other hand, children can be taken into custody for reasons that have little to do with objective facts, but rather with the interests of the administrators to keep their backs clear.

What I see is a strong tendency among social workers to sympathize with the poor and downtrodden, to the extent that they side with the mentally ill, who are not able to provide for themselves, and who actually are the perpetrators of child abuse.

In my view, the relationship between children and parents is just about the holiest thing on earth. I constantly deal with parents, who have their children taken away from them. By the perverted logic of our social services, the children often are taken away from the functioning parent and transferred to the parent, who lives on subsidies. Psychology books tell about childhood traumas. Such things don't exist in the world view of our social services.

And I'm not joking or saying things offhand, based on emotions. I hold a higher degree in Public Administration. I have made in-depth studies of these matters. We are talking about a considerable percentage of all children in my country, who are subjected to a kind of massive reeducation, most likely to ruin them, psychologically and socially. Innocent children being reduced to administrative entitites – rewards given to those with whom the social workers sympathize.

In the end, I feel an increasing sympathy with those parents,who take a stand, based on their primitive gut feelings: "Well, come and get my child, but you'll have to do it while facing a shotgun!"
Of course, I do not live in your country, I live in the United States, but I can relate to what you said because I have a tenant who has been renting my house for about five years and he has been trying to get custody of his three children because, he said, child protective services has refused to give them to him... He has his own business as a legal assistant so he knows the law and is trying to represent himself and has filed a lawsuit against CPS. He was never married to the mother of his children, but from what he told me she had many issues with substance abuse and was not a fit mother. I do not know what is the latest news on his case... It has been going on for years.

I have another tenant who has three children. He recently divorced and their mother has custody but she is not taking very good care of them. They have a contentious relationship, which makes it all the worse, but he at least has visitation once a week.

I cannot understand any of this from personal experience because I never had any children and my parents were never divorced. They were married for 28 years before my father died and my mother never remarried. There were problems in the home but I do not remember a lot of my childhood in detail. I do remember that my parents were maintenance drinkers and were not attentive or emotionally available for the children but we got the basic necessities of life. My father never wanted children so that is no doubt why I never did either.

My husband, who has been a Baha'i for 54 years, also had problems growing up. It is much better we did not have children and pass that along. I consider it selfish for people to have children unless they are prepared to take care of them, not only financially but also emotionally and mentally. Believe me, childhood traumas do exist. Both my husband spent a better part of out adult lives trying to overcome them in counseling and 12 step programs. That is one reason we have not been active in the Faith very much. I do not think either one of us will ever overcome all the trauma and deficiencies, not in this world anyway.
 
Old 04-02-2018, 12:42 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gnat View Post
Well, I'm a Bahá'í, and I know everything about obedience to the laws of one's country, but I notice that I'm reaching my limits.

I work with difficult custody cases and also sometimes deal with cases where children are taken into custody. I see a terrible reality. Our social services have slipped out of legal control, and make their decisions based on prejudice and emotions, making a mockery out of the law. Serious child abuse can be hidden by them. On the other hand, children can be taken into custody for reasons that have little to do with objective facts, but rather with the interests of the administrators to keep their backs clear.

What I see is a strong tendency among social workers to sympathize with the poor and downtrodden, to the extent that they side with the mentally ill, who are not able to provide for themselves, and who actually are the perpetrators of child abuse.

In my view, the relationship between children and parents is just about the holiest thing on earth. I constantly deal with parents, who have their children taken away from them. By the perverted logic of our social services, the children often are taken away from the functioning parent and transferred to the parent, who lives on subsidies. Psychology books tell about childhood traumas. Such things don't exist in the world view of our social services.

And I'm not joking or saying things offhand, based on emotions. I hold a higher degree in Public Administration. I have made in-depth studies of these matters. We are talking about a considerable percentage of all children in my country, who are subjected to a kind of massive reeducation, most likely to ruin them, psychologically and socially. Innocent children being reduced to administrative entitites – rewards given to those with whom the social workers sympathize.

In the end, I feel an increasing sympathy with those parents,who take a stand, based on their primitive gut feelings: "Well, come and get my child, but you'll have to do it while facing a shotgun!"

Best,

from

gnat
I don't know the specifics on the situation of child custody in Sweden, but as Trailblazer has mentioned the situation in the United States has similar problems. Custody is a thing in law that needs serious reform, in many countries it seems.

From what I can tell based on following the topic, a lot of the problems at least in my own country are based on an assumption that the mother is more critical to a child's development than the father, which leads to custody being biased in favor of the mother even when the mother is perhaps a less fit parent.

And increasingly studies are finding that what the Baha'i Scriptures say is true: that both parents are important in a child's development, and that taking away one or both parents is detrimental for the child.

What is blatantly clear to me is that child custody law, as it stands, needs significant reform in many countries in the world. You are at the forefront of a very important and holy struggle, and for that you have my utmost respect and admiration for the work you are doing.

I had a dream a few months back, one that I have not shared with anyone mainly because I was unsure of what, if anything, it could mean. Interestingly enough, it is relevant to this topic. In this dream there was a group of people who advocated custody reform. There was a larger group of people protesting this first group, surging towards the first. I found myself between the two groups, trying to physically shield and protect the first group from the second, and further found myself kneeling towards the Qiblih to pray with the familiar words of the obligatory prayer: “Strengthen my hand, o my Lord, that it may take hold of thy book with such steadfastness that the hosts of the world hath no power over it.”

After saying those words the rest of the people in the dream disappeared, and I found myself in an empty room, being asked why I prayed those words specifically. Which lead me to think about the beginning of the obligatory prayer and what it is asking for: To strengthen our hands to work for God even though the hosts of the world may be against such work.

So given that what you fight for is the same thing as those people from that dream, if you feel you are at one’s limit and that the hosts and institutions are against you, then perhaps you could find use in those words from that prayer.

And if there is anything I could do to help in any way, please ask! I know the work you are doing is of great importance, and I've often found myself thinking about what more I could do to help on this important issue!

And finally, a point of Scripture from Baha'u'llah I read recently that could also be of help: "If you fall into trouble, say, “Yá Bahá’u’l-Abhá!” If any one oppose you, say, “Yá Bahá’u’l-Abhá!” Even while at your work, mention “Yá Bahá’u’l-Abhá!”"
 
Old 04-02-2018, 05:27 PM   #4
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Truly amazing replies! They confirm that this site is a web Bahá'í community in its own right. Thank you so much for your replies, Trailblazer and Walrus.

Best,

from

gnat

Last edited by gnat; 04-02-2018 at 05:43 PM.
 
Old 04-02-2018, 06:09 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by gnat View Post
Truly amazing replies! They confirm that this site is a web Bahá'í community in its own right. Thank you so much for your replies, Trailblazer and Walrus.
You're welcome gnat... You are reaching your limit and I am reaching my limit, so we have something in common besides being Baha'is...

I am at my limit with nonbelievers and my tenants! ~~
 
Old 04-02-2018, 06:12 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by Trailblazer View Post
You're welcome gnat... You are reaching your limit and I am reaching my limit, so we have something in common besides being Baha'is...

I am at my limit with nonbelievers and my tenants! ~~
In other words - with people! Sounds familiar.

gnat
 
Old 04-04-2018, 01:34 PM   #7
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As if matters couldn't get worse. They could. I had two contacts with the social services today - both sent from the nethermost abysses of their Inferno.

Poor, miserable children!

gnat
 
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