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Old 05-11-2018, 02:57 AM   #1
Junior Member
 
Joined: May 2018
From: Canada
Posts: 2
Brother charged for assault with weapon in Newmarket

Hi guys,

My little brother Tom is 15 years now. He got charged for assault with weapon last week. Tom was playing football match hosted in his school.

In between the play one of the players from the opponent team came to argue with him regarding penalty goal. Tom got really angry and he injured that boy using an iron rod. He got his elbow fractured.

We are planning to consult a young offender lawyer in Newmarket. What's your opinion about this case? I don't have any hope. Why because fault is with my brother.

What should we do to control his anger and aggression? If you had a brother like him, what would you do? Kindly let me know. Thanks in advance.
 
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Old 05-11-2018, 04:18 AM   #2
Just a member
 
Joined: Oct 2013
From: Glenwood, Queensland, Australia
Posts: 681
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicole21 View Post
Hi guys, ...
Good morning Nicole, and may I please welcome you to this forum.

Without knowing if you are a Baha'i or not, I will write as though you are not but are instead of another persuasion, even agnostic or atheist. If I am in error, I can beg of you only your forgiveness and understanding.

It would be very easy for me to trot out quote after quote from the Baha'i Sacred Texts, but of what value? Yes, having a correct religious outlook does help, but first we need to consider the immediate urgency, and later come to those quotes when the time and the place is more suitable. My hope is that you do stay around, that thus you may evaluate with and in your own mind the assistance which can be found in the Sacred Texts.

I "spent" quite a number of years dealing with those that society deemed criminals and thus incarcerated away. My work was looking after them whilst incarcerated. Of the many prisoners, only a few could be deemed hard-cases, recidivists. Many who made a silly mistake, small or large, and were subsequently paying the penalty as imposed by society.

Yes, your brother may have committed an offense, and will go through the appropriate processes. If your lawyer is good, he will be able to encourage a less stern approach that will not leave bends in that tender twig for the remainder of his life. I will pray that this may be so.

Yet, for his mistake, I doubt that he is actually a "bad boy". In my life (and I am no longer young by any means) I have met oh so very few who are truly bad. You most clearly love your brother - continue to love him, and with that love, without being judgemental, or condemnatory, or anything else that may pass under that umbrella (for all of these act merely as a goad, merely encourage the continuation of the behaviour you would see changed, merely drive the impulses to resentment), encourage him to learn from his mistakes, more distant past as well as more recent, and in that learning learn more about himself that he may not commit hasty errors again in the future

You ask: "What should we do to control his anger and aggression? ..."

The simple answer is: you cannot control his anger nor his aggression. Only he can do that. And him alone. What we can do, however, is to understand him, and with that understanding lovingly and acceptingly encourage him to right behaviour.

Often times, there are good reasons for a person to be angry and aggressive. For so many of the younger generation which I meet, their anger and aggression is caused by frustration - and there is much, if one does not have the bounty of understanding the spiritual laws which govern us, with which a young person can be frustrated and angry at; it is difficult enough even when one does have , even if only rudimentary, a grasp of these laws and a desire to abide in accordance with them.

Or, there may be a mental issue involved. This can be determined only by proper psychiatric advise. There is nothing shameful in this - my wife suffered for most of our married life with my wild mood swings, fits of anger and so, for a mental illness that should have been diagnosed a few decades earlier than only in the last few years. Proper treatment can help if such is the case with your brother.

There are prayers which you can, on your own, say or chant/sing, asking for the intercession of God and for a successful outcome in his life. Prayers for almost every general circumstance, including healing, are available via the site
Baha'i Prayers https://www.bahaiprayers.org/index.htm
You may also like to peruse this page at Baha'i Teachings.org
5 Beautiful Prayers for Healing
Or, if you have access to a dead-tree volume of Baha'i prayers, then that too.

With my warmest greetings

Romane

Last edited by Romane; 05-11-2018 at 04:22 AM.
 
Old 05-18-2018, 01:48 AM   #3
Junior Member
 
Joined: May 2018
From: Canada
Posts: 2
Quote:
Originally Posted by Romane View Post
Good morning Nicole, and may I please welcome you to this forum.

Without knowing if you are a Baha'i or not, I will write as though you are not but are instead of another persuasion, even agnostic or atheist. If I am in error, I can beg of you only your forgiveness and understanding.

It would be very easy for me to trot out quote after quote from the Baha'i Sacred Texts, but of what value? Yes, having a correct religious outlook does help, but first we need to consider the immediate urgency, and later come to those quotes when the time and the place is more suitable. My hope is that you do stay around, that thus you may evaluate with and in your own mind the assistance which can be found in the Sacred Texts.

I "spent" quite a number of years dealing with those that society deemed criminals and thus incarcerated away. My work was looking after them whilst incarcerated. Of the many prisoners, only a few could be deemed hard-cases, recidivists. Many who made a silly mistake, small or large, and were subsequently paying the penalty as imposed by society.

Yes, your brother may have committed an offense, and will go through the appropriate processes. If your lawyer is good, he will be able to encourage a less stern approach that will not leave bends in that tender twig for the remainder of his life. I will pray that this may be so.

Yet, for his mistake, I doubt that he is actually a "bad boy". In my life (and I am no longer young by any means) I have met oh so very few who are truly bad. You most clearly love your brother - continue to love him, and with that love, without being judgemental, or condemnatory, or anything else that may pass under that umbrella (for all of these act merely as a goad, merely encourage the continuation of the behaviour you would see changed, merely drive the impulses to resentment), encourage him to learn from his mistakes, more distant past as well as more recent, and in that learning learn more about himself that he may not commit hasty errors again in the future

You ask: "What should we do to control his anger and aggression? ..."

The simple answer is: you cannot control his anger nor his aggression. Only he can do that. And him alone. What we can do, however, is to understand him, and with that understanding lovingly and acceptingly encourage him to right behaviour.

Often times, there are good reasons for a person to be angry and aggressive. For so many of the younger generation which I meet, their anger and aggression is caused by frustration - and there is much, if one does not have the bounty of understanding the spiritual laws which govern us, with which a young person can be frustrated and angry at; it is difficult enough even when one does have , even if only rudimentary, a grasp of these laws and a desire to abide in accordance with them.

Or, there may be a mental issue involved. This can be determined only by proper psychiatric advise. There is nothing shameful in this - my wife suffered for most of our married life with my wild mood swings, fits of anger and so, for a mental illness that should have been diagnosed a few decades earlier than only in the last few years. Proper treatment can help if such is the case with your brother.

There are prayers which you can, on your own, say or chant/sing, asking for the intercession of God and for a successful outcome in his life. Prayers for almost every general circumstance, including healing, are available via the site
Baha'i Prayers https://www.bahaiprayers.org/index.htm
You may also like to peruse this page at Baha'i Teachings.org
5 Beautiful Prayers for Healing
Or, if you have access to a dead-tree volume of Baha'i prayers, then that too.

With my warmest greetings

Romane
Thanks Romane! I'm so glad to see your kind words! Your views are correct.
 
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