Decisions and consequences
Posted 02-05-2010 at 05:04 PM by Pollwr
Tags choices, consequences, free will, parenting
Parenting a teenager can cause one to think a little more about free will. You can be constantly trying to judge how much freedom to give them, knowing full well that in not too long they will be totally responsible for themselves. They need to learn gradually.
And really, they are not a lot of help with that sort of decision, wanting total freedom one minute and then security and no responsibility the next. Maybe I exaggerate a little but parenting is full of hard decisions.
Of course when they finally flee the nest they will have to face the reality of adulthood.
"Some things are subject to the free will of man, such as justice, equity, tyranny and injustice, in other words, good and evil actions; it is evident and clear that these actions are, for the most part, left to the will of man. But there are certain things to which man is forced and compelled, such as sleep, death, sickness, decline of power, injuries and misfortunes; these are not subject to the will of man, and he is not responsible for them, for he is compelled to endure them. But in the choice of good and bad actions he is free, and he commits them according to his own will."
(Abdu'l-Baha, Some Answered Questions, p. 247)
I remember that heady feeling of young adulthood, feeling almost invincible and in charge of my life and then facing the stark reality that there were things in life that I could neither influence or change and that happened very much without my permission.
Of course, as a parent, I very much want my offspring to be equipped to make all of the right choices. I am often struck with the thought "what if I miss telling them about something?" I know in this changing world that their experience is going to differ from mine at that age.
Mind you, I am blessed with healthy offspring who are going, some day to leave home and live their own lives and that is part of a cycle that has gone on for many years. Why does it feel so scary??
"O Lord! Make this youth radiant, and confer Thy bounty upon this poor creature. Bestow upon him knowledge, grant him added strength at the break of every morn and guard him within the shelter of Thy protection so that he may be freed from error, may devote himself to the service of Thy Cause, may guide the wayward, lead the hapless, free the captives and awaken the heedless, that all may be blessed with Thy remembrance and praise. Thou art the Mighty and the Powerful."
- 'Abdu'l-Bahá *39*
(Compilations, Baha'i Prayers, p. 37)
And really, they are not a lot of help with that sort of decision, wanting total freedom one minute and then security and no responsibility the next. Maybe I exaggerate a little but parenting is full of hard decisions.
Of course when they finally flee the nest they will have to face the reality of adulthood.
"Some things are subject to the free will of man, such as justice, equity, tyranny and injustice, in other words, good and evil actions; it is evident and clear that these actions are, for the most part, left to the will of man. But there are certain things to which man is forced and compelled, such as sleep, death, sickness, decline of power, injuries and misfortunes; these are not subject to the will of man, and he is not responsible for them, for he is compelled to endure them. But in the choice of good and bad actions he is free, and he commits them according to his own will."
(Abdu'l-Baha, Some Answered Questions, p. 247)
I remember that heady feeling of young adulthood, feeling almost invincible and in charge of my life and then facing the stark reality that there were things in life that I could neither influence or change and that happened very much without my permission.
Of course, as a parent, I very much want my offspring to be equipped to make all of the right choices. I am often struck with the thought "what if I miss telling them about something?" I know in this changing world that their experience is going to differ from mine at that age.
Mind you, I am blessed with healthy offspring who are going, some day to leave home and live their own lives and that is part of a cycle that has gone on for many years. Why does it feel so scary??
"O Lord! Make this youth radiant, and confer Thy bounty upon this poor creature. Bestow upon him knowledge, grant him added strength at the break of every morn and guard him within the shelter of Thy protection so that he may be freed from error, may devote himself to the service of Thy Cause, may guide the wayward, lead the hapless, free the captives and awaken the heedless, that all may be blessed with Thy remembrance and praise. Thou art the Mighty and the Powerful."
- 'Abdu'l-Bahá *39*
(Compilations, Baha'i Prayers, p. 37)
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