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Old 12-09-2017, 03:15 PM   #1
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is my parent a narcissist?

A lot of conversations I have with my mom turns into an argument. It's like she can't have an intelligent conversation. We're going through a little hard time right now and we're both baha'is. When I try to give her some encouragement and have a positive conversation she respons with with negativaty and contradiction. I am a positive person and sometimes I just want to move out and leave, but the baha'i faith whole theme is unity. Is it sometimes best to just seperate from some people?

Thanks.

Last edited by od19g6be; 12-14-2017 at 12:22 PM.
 
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Old 12-09-2017, 05:38 PM   #2
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Hi good question this is one of the problems I've had and have had great success in overcoming. Firstly first realise this when you start becoming frustrated by somebody it gets easy to point fingers at them but we can't focus on the faults of others that's not to say they don't have any but we also have our share .. It depends how your giving the encouragement are you saying it from a place of superiority ? Kindly? quote " If ye be aware of a certain truth, if ye possess a jewel, of which others are deprived, share it with them in a language of utmost kindliness and good-will. If it be accepted, if it fulfil its purpose, your object is attained. If any one should refuse it, leave him unto himself, and beseech God to guide him. Beware lest ye deal unkindly with him. A kindly tongue is the lodestone of the hearts of men. It is the bread of the spirit, it clotheth the words with meaning, it is the fountain of the light of wisdom and understanding"…. ... Yes you can avoid people who are not willing to change or are stubborn but out of love and not hatred but that may not be the case your in ... We must love all deeply and we leave some people to their own devices out of love for them for certain periods for certain reasons. Your trying to be positive but she's being negative, well you can just love her and help her out of her negativity tactfully that is love in action. Have patience with people's shortcomings, keep up to date with the writings, pray to God for the truth and wisdom and ask him if your acting righteously .. It's great that your asking such a question as you are seeking the truth I hope I have been of some help but I've been in similiar situations but usually when we are frustrated with people we are trying to force them to change from something to something we want we must be patient and let them be as they are and try to help with wisdom and tact and if they refuse love them still but sometimes we can leave their company or presence yes but never out of hate

Last edited by Yousefy2; 12-09-2017 at 05:46 PM.
 
Old 12-09-2017, 05:43 PM   #3
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A kindly tongue is the lodestone of the hearts of men. It is the bread of the spirit, it clotheth the words with meaning, it is the fountain of the light of wisdom and understanding….
 
Old 12-10-2017, 12:17 PM   #4
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I'm kind with her. I have no superiority what so ever, matter of fact i'm a very peaceful person. Something when we talk she starts getting loud and aggressive and pulls you into the argument. I want to leave her to herself but the thing is I live with her and I don't have the financial means to move right now.
 
Old 12-10-2017, 01:08 PM   #5
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You can just remain silent and not reply, have love for her and limit the conversations if you struggle to have a constructive conversation it would be nice to have some input from others
 
Old 12-10-2017, 02:41 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by od19g6be View Post
A lot of conversations I have with my mom turns into an argument. It's like she can't have an intelligent conversation. We're going through a little hard time right now and we're both baha'is. When I try to give her some encouragement and have a positive conversation she respons with with negativaty and contradiction. I am a positive person and sometimes I just want to move out and leave, but the baha'i faith whole theme is unity. Is it sometimes best to just seperate from some people?

Thanks.
May I please ask your age?
 
Old 12-13-2017, 08:42 AM   #7
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Endure her abuse and offer words as sweet as milk in return that's what we are called to do.. anybody with any insights?
 
Old 12-13-2017, 08:46 AM   #8
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Should anyone wax angry with you, respond to him with gentleness; and should anyone upbraid you, forbear to upbraid him in return, but leave him to himself and put your trust in God, the omnipotent Avenger, the Lord of might and justice. Bahá'u'lláh, The Kitáb-i-Aqdas,p. 75
 
Old 12-14-2017, 12:20 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AidanK View Post
May I please ask your age?
34
 
Old 12-14-2017, 12:40 PM   #10
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Without applying any psychiatric terms, I see nothing wrong in taking a break from someone who upsets you, even thou it might be your mother.

There are so few absolutes, and as Bahá'ís we are obliged to use our own discretion.

gnat
 
Old 12-15-2017, 06:28 AM   #11
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Hi gnat I thought loving our enemies is an absolute
 
Old 12-16-2017, 01:05 AM   #12
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Hi gnat I thought loving our enemies is an absolute
Some people are easier to love at a certain distance.

gnat
 
Old 12-17-2017, 05:57 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yousefy2 View Post
Should anyone wax angry with you, respond to him with gentleness; and should anyone upbraid you, forbear to upbraid him in return, but leave him to himself and put your trust in God, the omnipotent Avenger, the Lord of might and justice. Bahá'u'lláh, The Kitáb-i-Aqdas,p. 75
I try to live by that. Like I said it's hard to do that when you live with the person because it's going to be circumstances that you need to talk. I'll just keep praying to my Creator to be my refuge and my omnipotent avenger.
 
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