what if someone wants to get close to you but...

LordOfGoblins · 12-06-2011, 12:43 AM

you dont want to get close to them???
What do you do. Particularly if it is a opposite sex etc. For whatever reason they have they want to know you better but you have absolutely no interest in them or knowing them.
Isnt that one of the things of this life that we like people who do not like us back? It makes life all that much harder to bear and frankly I see no wisdom in it from Gods behalf.
So what is the right attitude to have so that you are not unfriendly? Arnt Bahais supposed to be all-friendly? The problem is though that if they want to get close and you want to set boundaries there is no way to do that in a friendly way without sounding could or mean

tonyfish58 · 12-06-2011, 12:56 AM

Not an easy situation - I guess you just have to state the case?

There is a wisdom that we can not see in loving the enemy. It has been taught since the time of Christ at least, when you were to turn the other cheek and do unto others as you would have them do to you.

I was that way with my ex Mother in Law

She has now passed on and I pray for Her Soul from time to time.

Abdul'baha was the perfect example with this as well.

I guess it is up to you how you handle it, somehow we must learn to Love.

Regards Tony

cire perdue · 12-06-2011, 11:10 AM

I have NOT been able to be close to many people at all in my life, and then in limited ways only...........It has been a life's journey that I am not sure I would have made if I had not been a Baha'i. I do not believe I would have made it to age 40. I have not had a choice. To be a Baha'i one must learn social skills one does not have. I even took a Dale Carnegie class and did not know until then how unfriendly I was. The truest thing I know is that to have friends, one must be a friend. Daniel Jordan wrote in the CDP that Baha'is are to be loveable, and the way to achieve that is to be loving to others.

Due to recent illness I have had to depend on others at times for transportation. Fortunately I have made bonds over the last few years and it shows now. I could not have done this a number of years ago. At some point I guess one's faith has a life of its own........ I had alcoholic parents who were actually rather isolated. I am so grateful I had somewhere to go for help. I will go to Al Anon because I want to and enjoy it now..........

I think we are meant to get out of ourselves and do these things. We need to be around the rest of the world to obtain opportunities to teach the Faith truly.

12-06-2011, 12:43 AM	#1
LordOfGoblins Senior Member Joined: Dec 2010 From: Australia Posts: 1,317	what if someone wants to get close to you but... you dont want to get close to them??? What do you do. Particularly if it is a opposite sex etc. For whatever reason they have they want to know you better but you have absolutely no interest in them or knowing them. Isnt that one of the things of this life that we like people who do not like us back? It makes life all that much harder to bear and frankly I see no wisdom in it from Gods behalf. So what is the right attitude to have so that you are not unfriendly? Arnt Bahais supposed to be all-friendly? The problem is though that if they want to get close and you want to set boundaries there is no way to do that in a friendly way without sounding could or mean

12-06-2011, 11:10 AM	#3
cire perdue Senior Member Joined: Sep 2010 From: Louisiana Posts: 1,615	challenge of my whole life I have NOT been able to be close to many people at all in my life, and then in limited ways only...........It has been a life's journey that I am not sure I would have made if I had not been a Baha'i. I do not believe I would have made it to age 40. I have not had a choice. To be a Baha'i one must learn social skills one does not have. I even took a Dale Carnegie class and did not know until then how unfriendly I was. The truest thing I know is that to have friends, one must be a friend. Daniel Jordan wrote in the CDP that Baha'is are to be loveable, and the way to achieve that is to be loving to others. Due to recent illness I have had to depend on others at times for transportation. Fortunately I have made bonds over the last few years and it shows now. I could not have done this a number of years ago. At some point I guess one's faith has a life of its own........ I had alcoholic parents who were actually rather isolated. I am so grateful I had somewhere to go for help. I will go to Al Anon because I want to and enjoy it now.......... I think we are meant to get out of ourselves and do these things. We need to be around the rest of the world to obtain opportunities to teach the Faith truly.

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12-06-2011, 12:56 AM	#2
tonyfish58 Senior Member Joined: Sep 2010 From: Australia Posts: 828	Not an easy situation - I guess you just have to state the case? There is a wisdom that we can not see in loving the enemy. It has been taught since the time of Christ at least, when you were to turn the other cheek and do unto others as you would have them do to you. I was that way with my ex Mother in Law She has now passed on and I pray for Her Soul from time to time. Abdul'baha was the perfect example with this as well. I guess it is up to you how you handle it, somehow we must learn to Love. Regards Tony