cire perdue

Okay guys and ladies.
I am into my second manic episode since I left the hospital Oct 29. (Oh really, just your second????) After decades of mere depression, I finally get validated by having my first recognizeable at least to me, manic episode. I seem to be rapid cycling if 2 since Oct 29 qualify. I do not even have a doctor yet!!! I finally get to have a diagnosis with status, BIPOLAR. Depression, ha! What a wimp!

I have had some indicators of potential intolerance that are scaring me. HOWEVER the interesting news is lack of inhibition is a result of mania. I don't have my usual inhibitions. I learned this literally an hour ago. I am going to have to really get online and research.

OH NO, not him, not less inhibited, not him.

Well, yes, I guess God has a really, really wicked sense of humor. Okay, I have relationships with many of you here. I love you guys and I have so benefitted from this Forum immensely. I need you to consider carefully if I go over the line now. If I am too far off I may have to stop posting. I do not think my judgement is terrible. However, like, I'm going to know? Okay now that you have quit cheering at the possibility of me not posting, would you guys give me feedback by posts or messages? I think I can handle feedback. I mean i don't know where any of you live. You should be safe. If you have opinions of anything that is current or even past please let me know.

At present I don't think there are posts of mine that I would not have done at all, but perhaps I could have been more tactful. What do you think, please?

Pollwr

Dear Cire,

What a brave post. You have posted some wonderful advice and discussion points and added much to this forum. I totally understand that at times you may want to stand back when you don't trust your own judgement if you are in a certain part of a cycle.

I will remember you in my prayers. You seem to have been through so much of late and still seem to be strong in your Faith.

If anyone deserves to be blessed by a scattering angel, I am sure it is you.

"Intone, O My servant, the verses of God that have been received by thee, as intoned by them who have drawn nigh unto Him, that the sweetness of thy melody may kindle thine own soul, and attract the hearts of all men. Whoso reciteth, in the privacy of his chamber, the verses revealed by God, the scattering angels of the Almighty shall scatter abroad the fragrance of the words uttered by his mouth, and shall cause the heart of every righteous man to throb. Though he may, at first, remain unaware of its effect, yet the virtue of the grace vouchsafed unto him must needs sooner or later exercise its influence upon his soul. Thus have the mysteries of the Revelation of God been decreed by virtue of the Will of Him Who is the Source of power and wisdom."

(Baha'u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha'u'llah, p. 295)

Violet

My best friend has Biplor I, so I know first hand the ravages of this illness. Do not hesitate to lean on your support (friends/family, forumers, etc), find peace in the scriptures, and call hospital/police if in a dangerous/emergency situation.

Why do you not have a doctor? Are you on the waiting for a specialist?

You are definitely in my prayers and thoughts.


-Violet

arthra

Cire..

You are in my prayers...

There are a great many as you know mental diseases and troubles at present, and the one thing Bahá'ís must not do is take a defeatist attitude toward them. The power in the Faith is such that it can sustain us on a much higher level in spite of whatever our ailments might be, than other people who are denied it. This however does not mean that we should ignore medical opinion and treatment. On the contrary, we should do our best to procure the opinion of specialists and competent doctors."

(From a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi to an individual believer, January 12, 1957)

(Compilations, Lights of Guidance, p. 284)

I pray God to illumine thy heart with the light of the Manifestation, to nurture thee in His mercy so that thou mayest attain maturity in His love; thy spirit be enlightened with beholding His light and thy spirit revived by the bounty of the Holy Spirit, so that thou mayest be a sign of the love of God, speaking in the name of God, joyous by the favors of God, attaining unto the sea of the mercy of God, and being baptized with the water of life, the fire of love and the spirit of attraction.

~ Abdu'l-Baha, Tablets of Abdu'l-Baha v1, p. 70

cire perdue

Hey, I set myself up for criticism, and you guys just give me love. What am I gonna do. I am scared. I am going to work on that. I am happy to report that only true psychotic insanity with no anchor in reality that would probably come from brain damage could ever get me to let go of this Faith.
There is NOTHING that will cause me to let go. I swear I understand what God told Muhammad that if Muhammad wanted to get away from God perhaps Muhammad could dig a hole in the earth. I did not understand that until this past year. I feel like I have a almost physical connection that cannot be broken by me, I cease to have a choice. I can mess up, I can do wrong, but that I cannot let go. I had no clue, but it occurred before the stroke/TIA/seizure I just had, and then the manic episode occurred. OH boy, okay, I'm fine, next..... Sorry God, just kidding, I'll work on this a while, lol.