LordOfGoblins

Hi Guys. Me again with my questions about obvious things??


I am feeling better about myself these days but I still cant meet that many Bahais and hang in there groups as I would like. I know I have to be more patient with it. In the meantime though I did even consider something like clubbing. Now is this totally off or weird for an upstanding Bahai to be doing??
what are your thoughts and opinions. There seems to be an "old world order and new world order segregation". What do you think of this statement?

thank you.

cire perdue

Take dance classes, take an art course, find a Bible study group, go to Al Anon, or take a cooking class, but clubbing? You want to be around a bunch of drinking people?

LordOfGoblins

you have a point..
/:

arthra

"Clubbing"? Is dat somethin they do in "down under"?

You mean like associate with people with a common interest?

Sure.. Stamp Club, Yoga class...

I wanted to be in a poetry reading group.. read classics of poetry with others.. and appreciate poetry read aloud more!

Sboyce

I go to an 18 an older club with people to dance. I do not drink and neither do my friends, its just something fun to do occasionally.

Yeshua

Hey Lord

Well I don't see why you can't go to a nightclub so long as you don't drink alcohol! Amongst my group of friends there is a girl who never drinks (she's teetotal). I also have a Muslim friend who - obviously - doesn't drink alcohol. However both of them "go clubbing" and hit the dance floor, so I see no reason why you can't do it, minus the drink. If a Muslim can do it then why not a Baha'i? You can probably have a good time laughing at all the other "drunk" people as they make a complete fool of themselves and wake up the next morning with a blinder of a headache and an embarrassing set of photographs on facebook the next morning.

It could work Just dance and have fun. There is nothing in the Baha'i Faith against music or partying (minus alcohol of course).

When I'm out, since I'm Christian, I do drink however I've never got "drunk" to the extent that I'm comatose or lose complete self-control. I've never had a hang over. I handle drink very well. I've only ever got to the pleasant "tipsy" stage where I'm a little more comfortable and confident than usual, however I never go further since I know my limits (unlike a lot of people I know, I could tell you some stories that probably are not appropriate for a Baha'i forum, for which I reason I will refrain from doing so...)

But yeah, why not hit the clubs and dance the night away but not "drink"? You don't have to get drunk to have a good time. Its just socializing.

When my older brother used to take me to nightclubs with his friends (he still does every now and again) he wouldn't drink because he was the "driver". There is usually always somebody who doesn't drink because they have to drive the others back after and look after all the other vulnerable, drunk people. You could volunteer to be that "guy", no? It would be a charitable thing to do, and the bars will have orange juice and coca cola (soft drinks - you know to mix drinks together) however you can ask for them on their own if you want, that's what my brother did and what that Muslim guy I know does.

However there also some teenagers and people in their twenties and early thirties who don't go to nightclubs. My next door neighbour has never been, and one of my closest friends never goes (I've tried to convince him in the past but its not really his "thing" so to speak, he's pretty quiet). He usually goes to a bar/pub with me and then says "goodbye" and goes back home while everybody else moves on to a nightclub.

arthra

But Yeshua you're a Catholic..and the question relates more to Baha'is...

I know a few years ago I had a Muslim friend named Ridwan from Pakistan.. We used to run some track together and anyway there was a party we attended later..At the party of a private home they did serve alcohol along w/soft drinks. When I arrived I had a soda.. Ridwan saw me and assumed it was alcohol. He was laughing at me and he had a drink..of course he was Muslim so I knew it was forbidden to him.. So even in social circumstances it's awkward for us and can cause misunderstandings..

There are also people who should not drink alcohol in any amount and we are sympathetic them and to AA.. a rationale for "social drinking" can be a opening for some to drink.

Pollwr

You may find that opinions differ depending on the Bahá'í you talk to. Also different clubs and different peer groups have different atmospheres. When I was a youth I decided not to go clubbing because the flashing lights made me dizzy! I just could not enjoy myself with those lights. I used to mix with friends and went to pubs and parties. They drank and I did not. Now I am middle aged I just don't have the patience with drinking friends so I tend to avoid those situations as I get irritated with them and also the fact that I can remember every event the next day and they can't can cause awkwardness.
I think as a Bahá'í the main issue is - are clubs going to put you in a situation where you may be tempted to or peer pressured into doing something you shouldn't? The answer to this question may depend on your personality more than what happens in the clubs.
If you end up mixing with a lot of people who are drinking a lot it can be difficult when you presume that the conversation you had last night was meaningful and they have problems remembering it, or it was their drunk persona and they are seemingly not interested in the same issues.
In the society I live in, it is unusual to socialise in the evenings without alcohol, for most people. Most people pride themselves in drinking moderately and the definition of moderation varies widely. Some people just like to get drunk whenever they can. I hope that my not drinking demonstrates that there is an alternative way.

cire perdue

Sunday night I will go to the friends' home who are artists, who have know me 40 years and were neighbors. They smoke dope and drink, however when I ended up in the hospital, who fed my cats? Who brought me clothes, who took me home from the hospital, they did. I am not going to hang out all the time with them, but they are my peers and care about me. I don't think we have to avoid situations where because we are there are have a soft drink that we will be thought to be using alcohol or marijuana 100% of the time. I miss these people and don't have lots of opportunity to be with them. They are also including me in the "family" that will gather there that night. I think it is probably more important for me to be there, than to avoid it, because they smoke dope. It is an individual call. I'm not there every Saturday night, so I think for holidays and special occassions I will accept that invitation. I am an artist as well. They have done nothing but encourage me over the years.

Violet

I remember when I was in elementary taking science class. We learned about the different type of cells and that some are impermeable and semipermeable membranes. I like that everything/everyone is not completely porous and that have the ability to filter out BS. I think people have the ability to go to a club and associate with people with types of people and have a good time. You can go to club and not engage in dirty dancing or drinking. I am 29 and if I do declare and become Bahai, I will conduct myself in a proper manner, but not shut myself off from the world and my peers. Maybe I am missing something, but what is the issue if your not drinking, not dressed immodestly, and not dirty dancing?

Fadl

I'd steer clear of the slippery slopes, my friend. Clubbing isn't really a healthy social outlet in IMO, but there are certainly lots of other things to do that would increase the chance of healthy social interaction. Even if you don't drink or drug yourself, where is the fun in being with those who do? I think its not only not fun, but unhealthy, body, mind, and soul!

DO the fitness club, the bike club, the book club, hit the Starbucks, start a movie club or a study circle, that's all better, cleaner fun

LordOfGoblins

thank you to all who posted...

wolverinebiker

in my opinion where a person goes is not a problem it is what a person does that defines them, in their own eyes and others'. Yes - Baha'is do not drink alcohol, but you don't need to drink to go clubbing - clubbing is about dancing and enjoying the company of your friends. My wife and I go to karaoke in bars every so often, because that's where the karaoke IS. We order soft drinks or juice, the bar owners enjoy the fact that there are some completely sober folks in the bar, and when people ask why we aren't drinking, it is a great opportunity to teach the Faith. Just because you are a Baha'i doesn't mean you have to change who you are -

Rani

For a few years in my 20's or early 30's when a friend of mine invited me out, I did go only very occasionally to a nightclub or whatever.

I do like dancing, but generally, for me, they don't appeal, as the music is so loud it is so difficult to talk to anyone anyway, and generally speaking, at least where I lived, I didn't feel I had much in common with the people who frequented those places.

So, while it is not prohibited, I find more enjoyment going to other groups where I can have better conversations and meet more like-minded people. Away from any smoke and such too.

Now if they had karaoke though, I can appreciate there's some fun and purpose in that, seeing as I like singing.

cire perdue

I went to the Christmas party with lots of drinking and doping, and it was fun for a while, but I started cleaning up which I think was really appreciated by the hostess who has these folks over all the time..........