rushdy

could a side-effect of investigation the truth be anxiety. In particular, existential anxiety or derealization?

arthra

Good question...

Consider the Tablet of the True Seeker and reflect on what that effort requires...

CXXV.

O My brother! When a true seeker determineth to take the step of search in the path leading unto the knowledge of the Ancient of Days, he must, before all else, cleanse his heart, which is the seat of the revelation of the inner mysteries of God, from the obscuring dust of all acquired knowledge, and the allusions of the embodiments of satanic fancy.

He must purge his breast, which is the sanctuary of the abiding love of the Beloved, of every defilement, and sanctify his soul from all that pertaineth to water and clay, from all shadowy and ephemeral attachments.

He must so cleanse his heart that no remnant of either love or hate may linger therein, lest that love blindly incline him to error, or that hate repel him away from the truth. Even as thou dost witness in this Day how most of the people, because of such love and hate, are bereft of the immortal Face, have strayed far from the Embodiments of the Divine mysteries, and, shepherdless, are roaming through the wilderness of oblivion and error.

That seeker must, at all times, put his trust in God, must renounce the peoples of the earth, must detach himself from the world of dust, and cleave unto Him Who is the Lord of Lords.

He must never seek to exalt himself above any one, must wash away from the tablet of his heart every trace of pride and vain-glory, must cling unto patience and resignation, observe silence and refrain from idle talk. For the tongue is a smoldering fire, and excess of speech a deadly poison. Material fire consumeth the body, whereas the fire of the tongue devoureth both heart and soul. The force of the former lasteth but for a time, whilst the effects of the latter endureth a century.

That seeker should, also, regard backbiting as grievous error, and keep himself aloof from its dominion, inasmuch as backbiting quencheth the light of the heart, and extinguisheth the life of the soul.

He should be content with little, and be freed from all inordinate desire.

He should treasure the companionship of them that have renounced the world, and regard avoidance of boastful and worldly people a precious benefit.

At the dawn of every day he should commune with God, and, with all his soul, persevere in the quest of his Beloved. He should consume every wayward thought with the flame of His loving mention, and, with the swiftness of lightning, pass by all else save Him.

He should succor the dispossessed, and never withhold his favor from the destitute. He should show kindness to animals, how much more unto his fellow-man, to him who is endowed with the power of utterance.

He should not hesitate to offer up his life for his Beloved, nor allow the censure of the people to turn him away from the Truth.

He should not wish for others that which he doth not wish for himself, nor promise that which he doth not fulfil.

With all his heart he should avoid fellowship with evil-doers, and pray for the remission of their sins.

He should forgive the sinful, and never despise his low estate, for none knoweth what his own end shall be. How often hath a sinner attained, at the hour of death, to the essence of faith, and, quaffing the immortal draught, hath taken his flight unto the Concourse on high! And how often hath a devout believer, at the hour of his soul's ascension, been so changed as to fall into the nethermost fire!

Our purpose in revealing these convincing and weighty utterances is to impress upon the seeker that he should regard all else beside God as transient, and count all things save Him, Who is the Object of all adoration, as utter nothingness.[/I]

~ Baha'u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha'u'llah, p. 264

.................................................. ................

It would seem that if we followed this course of a true seeker there would be less chance of a "de-realization".

rushdy

LOL.. its just been a frustrating journey!

LordOfGoblins

If you dont mind me asking. Can you be more specific about anxeity one has when they read the Bahai writings?
Sorry if that question is too intrusive. I was curious by your question but I dont feel I entirely understand what you mean by it...

arthra

Take at least two Tablets in the morning and uhhh some in the evening..

uhh I mean read the Writings and pray

"At the dawn of every day he should commune with God, and, with all his soul, persevere in the quest of his Beloved. He should consume every wayward thought with the flame of His loving mention, and, with the swiftness of lightning, pass by all else save Him. .."

rushdy

Well, to be honest! Its could probably be that i am going through a "quarter life crisis". I try to find comfort in the writings, but i end up feeling overwhelmed with ignorance. I am constantly doubting which is making me feel a bit on edge.

MichaelAW

Rusdy,

Hi, Can you describe what it is that you are doubting? Doubting the Bahai Faith, doubting God exists, doubting yourself?

Warm Regards,
Michael

arthra

Rushdy....

You're going through a quarter life crises? I've been in a three quarter life crisis for the past few years!

Take your time with the Writings...baby steps...

The wine of renunciation must needs be quaffed, the lofty heights of detachment must needs be attained, and the meditation referred to in the words "One hour's reflection is preferable to seventy years of pious worship" must needs be observed, so that the secret of the wretched behaviour of the people might be discovered, those people who, despite the love and yearning for truth which they profess, curse the followers of Truth when once He hath been made manifest.

~ Baha'u'llah, The Kitab-i-Iqan, p. 237

cire perdue

Could you be having a true/real reaction to the power inherent in the Writings. The world lives in denial, so I do not have trouble accepting that people reject the Faith or do not look into it! It is a "proof" of truth that people run from it about themselves, others, and the world. To have one's soul perceive what one's mind is not ready to see could be a very, very upsetting reaction.

I also think it would indicate a very, very special person whose soul probably needs a willing mind and heart to go along with it. To me it is only a partial step to believe in Baha'u'llah, because that is actually intellectual, however to be connected by the heart is the most important thing that one can have/achieve in this life. I think it may take working on one's self to balance everything. I was willing to change my lifestyle however imperfectly I did that, it seems to have engaged my heart to the Faith. Prayer and/or perhaps time being mindless might be useful. I know at least one Baha'i whose conversion was arguing with God, and she lost.