LordOfGoblins

This girl has liked me for awhile now but I never had any interest in her.
Afterawhile though its like im starting to feel guilty into liking her. As if Gods telling me that I should feel bad for not liking her for so long even though i never liked her to begin with.
If I could just find someone who I liked a little bit more I swear id accept them. Im not that fussy but God is making me feal like I am fussy.
Even though Im not fussy.

So my question is: Do we control who we end up with? Are we allowed to resist someones advances for a long time to wait for the 'right person'? Or does it get to the point where its becoming selfish to do so?
Im feeling like a selfish Immoral person now because of this. And now I just want to move out of my city and go pioneering.

On the other hand my true love who I really wanted is with another man cos I was too sick to visit her and I have been raging at God because of that for awhile now.

By the way that last thread where I was complaining entitled 'what is love'.
Well the complaints werent really all because of relationships. Its actually deeper tests. That was just a part on the surface..

Essence of GOD

yes, you just gotta communicate your feelings with them.
stop playing these romance games, and say it like it is, then you can move on with your life and find the one who is right for you.

trust me bro, i got 99 problems, but a (girl) aint one.

LordOfGoblins

You completely misunderstand me if you think i play games with the hearts of women. That is the very last thing I do!!!!!

Essence of GOD

not with their hearts, you play games with your heart.

LordOfGoblins

You havnt seen nothing.
I am right now in the process of falling in love with a girl who is a complete bitch to me..

I dont recomend it..

Essence of GOD

haha good luck man

Zhang

Lol.

I would like to think the future is still up in the air, what do you think, LoG?

Where would you go pioneering I wonder? :P

BruceDLimber

Quote:

Originally Posted by LordOfGoblins Do we have any control over whom we end up with?

If you don't, then you live in a culture that has arranged marriages.


Peace, :-)

Bruce

aji

LOG,

I believe we do have control over who we end up with: "first thou must choose one who is pleasing to thee." (Aqdas 2305)

Obviously only you can make a decision on whether to 'settle' or wait for the 'right one', and decide what would really make you happy in light of the weighty verse "husband and wife should be united both physically and spiritually, that they may ever improve the spiritual life of each other, and may enjoy everlasting unity throughout all the worlds of God."

But I can offer you some personal insight on my concept of love. To be honest, after a few years of marriage, I've begun to realize the love that I feel for my wife, while starting out as passion and fire, has now matured into a deep love that takes a very different shape than what it was to begin with. In fact, apart from the physical attraction which remains, I don't think I can differentiate the love I feel for her and the love I feel for the rest of my family - mother, father, grandmother. I don't think there are different 'types' of love, it seems to me there is only one.

You might look at the person who has liked you for a long time, as well as the person you've had a crush on, and think of what they would be like if all the passion and fire were to dissolve into a deep appreciation for who they are, as your best friend, life's companion, and partner in your journey through all the worlds of God.

Rani

LoG,

Some of this is crazy talk. ;-) lol. Of course we have choice. Please know that the only thing you owe the girl who likes you is courtesy and normal kindness. If you have normal fellowship together, great! You are not obliged by God or anyone to like someone in a romantic or marital sense if you don't. If you entered a relationship with someone when you feel sad inside (or if it doesn't feel right -it will only be a disservice to yourself and to her.

As cited by Aji. "first thou must choose one who is pleasing to thee."

I've seen a couple of people who've had failed marriages who basically married because they thought they should, disregarding how they felt. Not a good story.
Wait until a relationship is a source of mutual happiness, not obligation. I think this is Relationships 101.

arthra

I think a successful relationship starts with what we have in common...our interests and aspirations...if that isn't there it really would be I think artificial.

Consequently when the people of Baha desire to enter the sacred union of marriage, eternal connection and ideal relationship, spiritual and physical association of thoughts and conceptions of life must exist between them, so that in all the grades of existence and all the worlds of God this union may continue forever and ever for this real union is a splendor of the light of the love of God.

~ Abdu'l-Baha, Baha'i World Faith, p. 373

After thirty eight years of marriage my wife and I continue to have many of the same goals and interests we had when we first met and of course our spiritual life is deeper. Also raising children has matured us as well.

LordOfGoblins

THankyou everyone.
You have made my day!!!

cire perdue

Your language tends to make me think you have a lot of remedial understanding to make up for.

LordOfGoblins

thats right...
But you could never know the confusion I have had to endure..
best left unsaid.