LordOfGoblins

Does any Bahai actually try and do this??

Here is the verse from the Ancient beauty:

Be generous in prosperity, and thankful in adversity. Be worthy of the trust of thy neighbor, and look upon him with a bright and friendly face. Be a treasure to the poor, an admonisher to the rich, an answerer of the cry of the needy, a preserver of the sanctity of thy pledge. Be fair in thy judgment, and guarded in thy speech. Be unjust to no man, and show all meekness to all men. Be as a lamp unto them that walk in darkness, a joy to the sorrowful, a sea for the thirsty, a haven for the distressed, an upholder and defender of the victim of oppression...
(Baha'u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha'u'llah, p. 284)

Certainly in social situations people just Act like literal clowns.
Laughing like buffoons etc. It's really quit obnoxious.
Now I fear that I have suffered too much that I have become quiet unlike anyone else, and I no longer fit in. I am always trying to analyse people and seeing all their superfiscial side and their ego coming through with how they talk.
What can you do. There is no place for people like me in this world sadly..

Does anyone else feel awkward in social situations? How do you deal with it?

armin

They're out there rest assured. Rely wholly on the Almighty and you will see all as His loved creation and not the error prone creatures we all are. Being unlike the rest in a positive way, the Baha'i way, is a gift! Let none, including yourself, tell you otherwise!

LordOfGoblins

I try not to focus on myself but it's so difficult when the struggle has been with yourself and with God for so long. It can be mistaken for narcasim but it's really not.
Once man is freed from problems then he can look outwards but I am still unable to do so.
When my anxiety overcomes me I leave and people wonder if I didnt like them or what is wrong with me but I try to come across as the reason not being that I dont like them.
Its not you its me sortof thing.

Oh could people know some of the things I faced in my dark times. A wound that has taken so many years to heal..
I can only ellude to it, but one day people might know...
Truly I have been englufed in trials which only the miraculous power of God could heal. I swear that no reasonable science can explain my changes. But then again God did this to me to begin so its all his fault to begin with.
Sorry im being vague. Thats all ppl get for now..

Essence of GOD

in social gatherings, i find it comforting to just be myself.
meanwhile, accepting others for who they are (real or putting on an act), and respecting them so they wouldn't feel awkward.

my ice breaker is one simple question.
"do you like strawberry?"

usually im the quite guy with a smile on my face.

life is easy, dont over-think it.

Jak08

I can relate, I have extreme social anxiety at times. One of the hardest things I've done that I believe has been the most helpful. I answer any question asked of me. I don't allow myself to have private information or secrets. It is those things that I believe kept me from other people. Over a course of a few years I've related slowly to different people all of my information. With each retelling every bit of of me becomes less painful to relate to another.

Also when I find myself judging other people I have to remind myself that I am not allowed that privilege and instead focus on the similarity's. When I am looking for faults in people I am driving a wedge between us separating. But when I look for similarities I draw myself closer to them. There is a handful of tricks I've learned either through experience or years of therapy.

I used to walk out of social gatherings all the time driving myself insane. Now most of the time I am able to find myself apart of, not apart. I hope I was some help and if you have extra questions feel free to ask, I'll answer

ahanu

Not really. I know what social situations I should place myself in.

In that case, focus on similarities rather than differences. Different people are still human, after all.

ahanu

Yes, I do. I love strawberry smoothiesssss!

Essence of GOD

what? strawberries are disgusting.
i spit in your judgment

LordOfGoblins

My mum said to me angrily today "if you were taking your vitamins as much as your supposed to youd be BOUNCING AROUND BY NOW! I dont know why you refuse to take them, maybe you just want to be like this. YOU CHOOSE TO BE LIKE THIS!"

And the answer I said was "I will never be bouncing around because I choose not to. What am I ten years old???? I am done with bouncing!!"
haha.
but what I am thinking is:
"Why pretend we are anything more than dogs on the leash held by the almighty God?"
):
Its not like I am going to go out there and suddenly start asking random girls off the street on dates now IS IT???
thats my mothers capacity..

arthra

When talking about being guarded in speech it would probably do well to consider how the "tongue" is used in the Writings... Here are some examples I found:

When ye enter the spiritual meeting of Consultation, chant the following commune, your hearts beating with the love of God and your tongues purified from aught else save the commemoration of God; so that the Most Mighty Power may confirm you by the greatest assistance:

(Abdu'l-Baha, Tablets of Abdu'l-Baha v1, p. 2)

I ask God to adorn your heads with the pearls of His favor, to ignite in your hearts the fire of the love of God, to free your tongues in utterance of eloquent words and excellent meanings and mysteries in the gathering of the pious....

(Abdu'l-Baha, Tablets of Abdu'l-Baha v1, p. 31)

Beware lest ye offend the feelings of anyone, or sadden the heart of any person, or move the tongue in reproach of and finding fault with anybody, whether he is friend or stranger, believer or enemy.

(Abdu'l-Baha, Tablets of Abdu'l-Baha v1, p. 44)

Open the tongue of praise to the Horizon of ABHA, for having received light from Him in the age of youth, and for having been planted by Him in the paradise of glory.

(Abdu'l-Baha, Tablets of Abdu'l-Baha v1, p. 68)

So the above are just a few I found searching among some of the Tablets of Abdul-Baha... I bet there's plenty more!!!!

LordOfGoblins

Tonyfish...
We all have free will?
Tell that to Job when he was going through his great adversity. See what he says?
Going through trials often means we are trapped and have to wait out the storm.
And if you arnt realising that I am talking about trials here you aint catching my drift.

Dont say things that make me feel like I need to be a teacher to educate you, it makes me feel condescending and I dont like the feeling.

Tonyfish. I dont just want another random girl 'out there'. I want the one girl who I fell in love with years ago and cant get over. You shouldnt comment on things that I havnt disclosed, you dont know the full nature of the problem. If it was so easy as you say, you dont think it would have occured to me by now??

cheers

LordOfGoblins

THis is just self motivational stuff.
But what is the reality of it?
What 'changing' of the world is really going to happen?
We are just human beings.
Its nice to be all positive but that is not the reality of how I have experienced this life at all. It can be cold harsh and lonely beyond imagination.
May as well just accept the fact that we are the dog on the leash being led by God to the next world where the only true freedom exists.
Now on the other hand if you are a happy human being with the sun shining out of you thats just nice and great, good for you.
I prefer truth and reality to anything else.

tonyfish58

I thought about this last night in response to the answers posted above. I guess that I see Faith in a simplistic light. To me it is not complex and everything has a simple answer. It is us that makes it complex.

It is because that I look at Faith this way that I do not need to post answers of a scholar, I prefer to look at Faith with the eyes of a Child.

I blame nothing on God, there are ample writings to show that nothing that is bad can be contributed to God. This is a simple truth, we must look elsewhere if bad is happening in our lives. What we can do is pray & ask God for protection & guidance.

Look at Abdul'baha this is our benchmark. We will find no writings blaming God for events in Their lives. What they showed us was what can be achieved with perfect detachment from this world. What happened to them was not from God. Once again many writings on this aspect of Faith. Who suffered more than the Founders of this Faith?

The rest of us have very little to complain about IMHO.

Free will is important and should not be brushed aside - This link has some good quotes - Free Will

Here is one from that site

By the exercise of his free will, man either affirms his spiritual purpose in life or chooses to perpetuate evil by living below his highest station. The question is asked: “Is such a behaviour to be attributed to God, or to their proper selves?” And concludes: Every good thing is of God, and every evil thing is from yourselves. (The Universal House of Justice, Messages 1963 to 1986, p. 663)

Thus we have free will to either dwell on things that can not/are not/will not be and sink into a state of mind on these subjects or we can choose not to do this and take a leap of Faith and say, God will look after me.

Life is like that, it will not always head in the direction you would hope it might. The important thing to note is that this is a bounty from God. God knows what is best for us. Once again simplistic but such an easy motto to live by.

Faith and the love of God is pure motivation. Dwell on these and you have contentment. Dwell on anything else and you will not find peace within yourself.

I have changed since I have found Baha'ullah and the world will change as it also finds Baha'ullah as is written.

Does this make me any better than anyone else? No it does not. Do I need more education? I sure as heck do. Do I have the free will to pursue this or not? Yep!

Regards Tony

LordOfGoblins

READ THE BOOK OF JOB.
ThE END.

LordOfGoblins

But the main purpose of he Revelation of Bahá'u'lláh is to instil into the hearts of men .. measure of God's love and endow their souls with the spirit of faith. Only when this happens on a universal scale will man-made sufferings and calamities be replaced by the Most Great Peace. When humanity attains to this exalted state and the causes of disunity are thus eliminated, then trials and tribulations will be limited to those which God ordains for each individual. The sufferings which come from God are essential for the spiritual development of the soul. Whereas man-made sufferings today are intolerable, God-sent ordeals and difficulties are never imposed upon a soul beyond its capacity.

(Adib Taherzadeh, The Revelation of Baha'u'llah v 4, p. 158)

Rani

..I dunno.. From my perspective there are plenty of Writings that talk about tests and trials that are sent by God, or trials that people experience because of other people. Everything bad comes from us?

What about dear Nick Vujicic being born with no limbs? It was not a curse from God, but it certainly wasn't Nick's fault either, and has created enormous challenge for him.

I wish to list just a few quotes that talk about tests or trials from God:

'We hear thy cry and supplication at thy remoteness from the
Dawning-Place of Lights. Be patient and do not bewail thy plight.
Be content with that which God hath ordained for thee. He, verily,
payeth the due recompense of those who are patient. Hast thou not
seen My incarceration, My affliction, My injury, My suffering?
Follow, then, the ways of thy Lord, and among His methods is the

suffering of His well-favoured servants. Let nothing grieve thee.

Put thy trust in thy Lord. He shall verily confirm thee, draw thee
nigh unto Him and grant thee victory. Should affliction overtake
thee in My path and abasement in My name, rejoice and be of the
thankful. Thus have We imparted unto thee the word of truth so that
when calamities descend upon thee, thy feet may not slip and thou
shalt be as firm and steadfast as a mountain in the Cause of thy

Lord... (Bihjatu's-Sudar, pp. 96-7)
From a tablet of Baha'u'llah. (Bihjatu's-Sudar, pp. 96-7)
(H.M. Balyuzi, Eminent Baha'is in the Time of Baha'u'llah, p. 244)


Tests are benefits from God, for which we should thank Him. Grief and sorrow do not come to us by chance, they are sent to us by the Divine Mercy for our own perfecting.

(Abdu'l-Baha, Paris Talks, p. 50)

Thy glory is my witness! At each daybreak they who love Thee wake to find the cup of woe set before their faces, because they have believed in Thee and acknowledged Thy signs. Though I firmly believe that Thou hast a greater compassion on them than they have on their own selves, though I recognize that Thou hast afflicted them for no other purpose except to proclaim Thy Cause, and to enable them to ascend into the heaven of Thine eternity and the precincts of Thy court, yet Thou knowest full well the frailty of some of them, and art aware of their impatience in their sufferings.

(Baha'u'llah, Prayers and Meditations by Baha'u'llah, p. 158)

Lauded be Thy name, O Lord my God! Thou seest how Thy servants have everywhere been compassed with tribulations, how their adversaries have all risen up against them and grievously wronged them. Thy glory beareth me witness! Were all the wicked doers of the earth to band themselves against us, and to cast us into a fire such as no man hath kindled, they would be powerless to distract our gaze from the horizon of Thy name,..

I swear by Thy might! The arrows that transfix us in Thy path are the ornaments of our temples, and the spears which pierce us in our love for Thee are as silk unto our bodies. By the glory of Thy might! Nothing whatsoever can beseem Thy servants except what the pen of Thine irrevocable decree hath traced in this priceless and exalted Table

(Baha'u'llah, Prayers and Meditations by Baha'u'llah, p. 217)


Know ye that trials and tribulations have, from time immemorial, been the lot of the chosen Ones of God and His beloved, and such of His servants as are detached from all else but Him, they whom neither merchandise nor traffic beguile from the remembrance of the Almighty, they that speak not till He hath spoken, and act according to His commandment. Such is God's method carried into effect of old, and such will it remain in the future. Blessed are the steadfastly enduring, they that are patient under ills and hardships, who lament not over anything that befalleth them, and who tread the path of resignation...

(Baha'u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha'u'llah, p. 129)

'My calamity is My Providence', outwardly it is fire and vengence, but inwardly it is light and mercy...'

'Oh Thou whose tests are a healing medicine..' .. There are so many verses on this topic..

Rani

We have choice over our moral choices, but we don't have control over everything. We don't have much control over whether we are caught up in a plane crash or whether someone decides to have a psychotic shootout at the Mall, or if we are born into poverty or with some strange disease. We can just do the best we can by trusting in God and trying our best to follow Him.

But what I'm trying to say is that there is a difference between 'evil' as in bad behaviour, and misfortune. Not all misfortune is from bad behaviour. Again to use Nick Vujicic as an example, no-one would say being born with no limbs is good, but it is not because he was bad, -it was misfortune.

He can still live a highly spiritual life, but his life will never be easier than the average person's.

Pollwr

This discussion put me in mind of this quotation from the seven valleys to illustrate how the events of time can sometimes give us a different perspective on our trials and tribulations. I can think of a number of things that were traumatic at the time I look back and am thankful for what has happenend a result of them but then I have ongoing things in my mind such as the loss of my close friend to cancer this year that I can see no light in right now.

"There was once a lover who had sighed for long years in separation from his beloved, and wasted in the fire of remoteness. From the rule of love, his heart was empty of patience, and his body weary of his spirit; he reckoned life without her as a mockery, and time consumed him away. How many a day he found no rest in longing for her; how many a night the pain of her kept him from sleep; his body was worn to a sigh, his heart's wound had turned him to a cry of sorrow. He had given a thousand lives for one taste of the cup of her presence, but it availed him not. The doctors knew no cure for him, and companions avoided his company; yea, physicians have no medicine for one sick of love, unless the favor of the beloved one deliver him.

At last, the tree of his longing yielded the fruit of despair, and the fire of his hope fell to ashes. Then one night he could live no more, and he went out of his house and made for the marketplace. On a sudden, a watchman followed after him. He broke into a run, with the watchman following; then other watchmen came together, and barred every passage to the weary one. And the wretched one cried from his heart, and ran here and there, and moaned to himself: "Surely this watchman is Izra'il, my angel of death, following so fast upon me; or he is a tyrant of men, seeking to harm me." His feet carried him on, the one bleeding with the arrow of love, and his heart lamented. Then he came to a garden wall, and with untold pain he scaled it, for it proved very high; and forgetting his life, he threw himself down to the garden.

And there he beheld his beloved with a lamp in her hand, searching for a ring she had lost. When the heart-surrendered lover looked on his ravishing love, he drew a great breath and raised up his hands in prayer, crying: "O God! Give Thou glory to the watchman, and riches and long life. For the watchman was Gabriel, guiding this poor one; or he was Israfil, bringing life to this wretched one!"

Indeed, his words were true, for he had found many a secret justice in this seeming tyranny of the watchman, and seen how many a mercy lay hid behind the veil. Out of wrath, the guard had led him who was athirst in love's desert to the sea of his loved one, and lit up the dark night of absence with the light of reunion. He had driven one who was afar, into the garden of nearness, had guided an ailing soul to the heart's physician.

Now if the lover could have looked ahead, he would have blessed the watchman at the start, and prayed on his behalf, and he would have seen that tyranny as justice; but since the end was veiled to him, he moaned and made his plaint in the beginning. Yet those who journey in the garden land of knowledge, because they see the end in the beginning, see peace in war and friendliness in anger."

(Baha'u'llah, The Seven Valleys, p. 12)

armin

... is this how we want to spread the word? What image does it give the Faith to seeking souls! ...

Everyone's entitled to their opinion. Opening an open public thread and telling people to not participate in it is contrary to the spirit of what a public forum is, at least to me.

LordOfGoblins

ill leave for awhile..
good luck..