SeventhValley

First off nice to meet everyone here.

I am in a bit pf a frustrated spot. On one hand I have trouble and doubts in my walk with God. On the other hand I have a wife who wants me to keep my Baha'i activites to myself as a (me thing) and refers to other Baha'is as my "friends"(which they are of course) when talking to people we know.

What dose not help out with all of this is that my cluster is so focused on gaining new members that they generally ignore current ones unintentionally.

I would try to host more get together firesides but my wife dose not want anyone over our house.

So I can't help the cluster out in this regard. Plus it dose not help that the majority of the cluster is 50 to 60 years old. No one in thier 20's or 30's for me to hang out with. The only one person like that left pretty quick(still a Baha'i in a different cluster in a different state) and was almost creepy because he was so happy all of the time.

So I am just a bit frustrated anyone else work through anything similar?

HarbingerSTG

Allah-u-Abha! I understand your position and what I would first advise is to accept that perhaps your wife is uncomfortable with your faith. While this uncomfort is not wrong as it is one's own decision how they feel, it can perhaps be alleviated by enlightening her as to the nature and teaching of the Faith itself and an extra reminder of your passion for the Faith. Concerning your situation with your cluster, it is not wrong to seek out a new cluster in hopes of finding younger members with whom you may relate more. I'd try calling the hotline 1-800-22UNITE and see if there are other groups in your area. If there are then you will be given contact information and you can contact the group and see if it the proper fit for you. Peace be unto you and I hope your situation is resolved favorably!

arthra

"Seventh Valley" good to read your post!

It's like you feel alone ...Angst!

When I have that feeling I've gone to a coffee shop and see if there are any people there to hang around with.. or check your friends at work or in a area where you enjoy like I dunno stamp collecting or whaateva! Maybe become involved in interfaith activities as a Baha'i or in a social issue group that you feel comfortable with...

Now the idea is to find likeminded souls out there you can relate to and incidentally share your beliefs and aspirations with... Shouldn't be too difficult. The other Baha'is in your community maybe didn't do this very well and that's why they are left over time with themselves looking in the mirror and seeing their hair greying and more lines on their skin.. but you're gonna change that .. You're gonna get out there and teach! Look at all the non-Baha'is out there are a waiten!

cire perdue

Welcome. My take is that I would respect your wife's wishes and over time as a result that may bear fruit. Though there are obvious"jobs" and tasks for the Faith right now, but I think your wife is important. When we come into the Faith we do NOT always make friends or have much in common with the other Baha'is. It just happens that way. Look for other friends and that is a way to teach the Faith as well.

InvestigateTruth

Here is a letter Abdulbaha wrote for you:

"O thou who art firm in the Covenant! The letter thou hadst written on 2 May 1919 was received. Praise thou God that in tests thou art firm and steadfast and art holding fast to the Abhá Kingdom. Thou art not shaken by any affliction or disturbed by any calamity. Not until man is tried doth the pure gold distinctly separate from the dross. Torment is the fire of test wherein the pure gold shineth resplendently and the impurity is burned and blackened. At present thou art, praise be to God, firm and steadfast in tests and trials and art not shaken by them.
Thy wife is not in harmony with thee, but praise be to God, the Blessed Beauty is pleased with thee and is conferring upon thee the utmost bounty and blessings. But still try to be patient with thy wife, perchance she may be transformed and her heart may be illumined. The contribution thou hast made for teaching is highly acceptable and it shall be eternally mentioned in the divine Kingdom for it is the cause of the diffusion of fragrances and the exaltation of the Word of God."



Bahá'í Reference Library - Selections From the Writings of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Pages 120-121

aji

SeventhValley - I understand your frustrations. My wife is also not Baha'i, she's Hindu and holds a different set of beliefs based on her upbringing, but I'm lucky in that she is still spiritual and does believe in an Almighty God, which is a fundamental basis for our relationship to work. We've had conversations about religion, and we've come to a mutual understanding that there is only one God (and that the various Deities of the Hindu Faith are in fact representations or names/attributes of the one true God). Aside from that, our day to day practices are very different, but we still get along well on a social level.

I've tried introducing her to meetings and get togethers with other Baha'is, and she's open to meeting the friends, but we're still a long way from being able to hold firesides at our house. The only thing we can really do in such situations is be patient and show the fruits of the Faith through our behaviour and actions. If we strive hard and purify ourselves to better reflect the light of God, through virtues and deeds, our wives may have no choice but to be attracted to the Faith, simply because they see the fruits in their own home and in their everyday lives.

SeventhValley

Thanks all for the kind words and advice. On the upside I actually got a e-mail from a member of the cluster who I had not talked to for months. Apparently he sympathized with my situation a bit and gave me some good advice.

SeventhValley

I see where you are coming from. I know several members in the same boat who have come out of the woodwork once I mentioned my issue. One has a spouse who I thought was a Baha'i but actually was not one but came to all of the clusters activites to be supportive.
I just want to get to the point where I can host a fireside or similar activity if I want to. My wife was brought up fairly militant atheist(her family still is) and all of her friends are conservative Christians. My wife can do her own thing I do not mind that; I just do not like hiding who I am just to make others comfortable.

SeventhValley

Also let me clarify there are a couple Baha'i in my age bracket but they are single females. Being a married man hanging out with them other than at offical Baha'i functions would not be a good idea.