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Old 02-05-2018, 12:29 AM   #1
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marriage- parents' willing consent

I belong to a wonderful bahai family with loving and caring parents. I am in love with a muslim boy since 12 yrs and he is extremely supportive of me following the bahai faith. we have been waiting to get married for all these years due to certain challenges we have been facing all the while.

-his father's consent ( my parents and his mother have consented freely for our wedding) - he likes me but is willing to give his consent for wedding only if I convert to islam

- his mother wants nikah (islamic wedding ceremony ) to be performed in addition to the bahai wedding ceremony but is willing to accept me as a bahai, but the islamic priest or Qazi says wedding is possible only if i am willing to take shahada (accepting Mohammed to be a messenger of God and accepting the oneness of God) and choose a 'muslim name' . I'm not sure if this would be considered as violation of the bahai law.
ShoghiEffendi's writings clearly mention: "With reference to your question regarding mixed marriages, that is to say between Bahá’ís and non-Bahá’ís, in all such cases the believer must insist that the Bahá’í ceremony should, as far as he is concerned, be performed in its entirety, but should also give full freedom to the other contracting party to carry out the non-Bahá’í rite or ceremony be it Muslim, Christian or otherwise, provided the latter does not invalidate the Bahá’í marriage act. This is the general principle which your N.S.A. should explain to the friends."

Both of us are mentally drained trying to think of a way to get everything sorted.

I would appreciate if any one has come across any writings in this regard and is willing to share them here

Loving bahai greetings
 
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Old 02-05-2018, 03:53 AM   #2
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The only advice I can give is to consult with your LSA and your NSA.

gnat
 
Old 02-05-2018, 07:39 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by abha View Post
- his mother wants nikah (islamic wedding ceremony ) to be performed in addition to the bahai wedding ceremony but is willing to accept me as a bahai, but the islamic priest or Qazi says wedding is possible only if i am willing to take shahada (accepting Mohammed to be a messenger of God and accepting the oneness of God) and choose a 'muslim name' . I'm not sure if this would be considered as violation of the bahai law.
ShoghiEffendi's writings clearly mention: "With reference to your question regarding mixed marriages, that is to say between Bahá’ís and non-Bahá’ís, in all such cases the believer must insist that the Bahá’í ceremony should, as far as he is concerned, be performed in its entirety, but should also give full freedom to the other contracting party to carry out the non-Bahá’í rite or ceremony be it Muslim, Christian or otherwise, provided the latter does not invalidate the Bahá’í marriage act. This is the general principle which your N.S.A. should explain to the friends."
In regards to the Shahada, there should be no problem. It's a statement of belief in total accord with the Baha'i Faith, "There is no God except God, and Muhammad is the Apostle of God". The Bab even wrote extensively about the Shahada in the Bayan.

One of my religious history books even mentioned his early followers had their own variant of the Shahada, adding on a confirmation of the Bab's station after the confirmation of a belief in God and the confirmation of Muhammad's station.

I know nothing in Scripture against taking on additional names as part of the wedding. The concept of a Muslim "religious name" is one that carries over somewhat to the Baha'i faith. The names "Bab", "Baha'u'llah", "'Abdu'l-Baha", "Tahirih", "Bab-u'l-Bab", are all religious names in this same vein given to Babi and Baha'i figures.

I don't think this requirement is a big obstacle. The Qazi is asking you to confirm a belief that you already have, a belief in monotheism and the message of Muhammad. Due to, perhaps, a lack of understanding of the Baha'i Faith, he may not realize that this is something you already do quite believe.

Quote:
Originally Posted by abha View Post
-his father's consent ( my parents and his mother have consented freely for our wedding) - he likes me but is willing to give his consent for wedding only if I convert to islam
Well, this is the one tricky part.

The big question is: what does he consider "Islam"?? If accepting the Shahada (belief in God and Muhammad) is enough for the Qazi, is that also enough for the father??

The "five pillars" that traditionally define Islam are the Shahada (which we as Baha'is believe), daily prayer (which we do), charity (which we give), fasting (which we observe), and pilgrimage (which we perform).

If he defines Islam as what it believes in, then there is a good case that could be made that you do believe in all the things that Islam believes in, and that might be sufficient for his acceptance if you are able to make that case. As a Baha'i you believe in God, believe Muhammad is God's messenger, you believe the Quran is the Word of God, and you submit to the Will of God - all of that is what usually defines a "Muslim".

If he defines Islam as what it does not believe in, though, in other words if he views a person who accepts all the tenets of Islam, but accepts other prophets, as a non-Muslim, well, then you have a bigger problem.

I'd say the big question to that obstacle is what it is he considers to be a "Muslim". There's a chance you already fit his definition, he just might not be aware of it.

Last edited by Walrus; 02-05-2018 at 07:42 AM.
 
Old 02-05-2018, 09:53 PM   #4
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[QUOTE=Walrus;79510]In regards to the Shahada, there should be no problem. It's a statement of belief in total accord with the Baha'i Faith, "There is no God except God, and Muhammad is the Apostle of God". The Bab even wrote extensively about the Shahada in the Bayan.

One of my religious history books even mentioned his early followers had their own variant of the Shahada, adding on a confirmation of the Bab's station after the confirmation of a belief in God and the confirmation of Muhammad's station.

I know nothing in Scripture against taking on additional names as part of the wedding. The concept of a Muslim "religious name" is one that carries over somewhat to the Baha'i faith. The names "Bab", "Baha'u'llah", "'Abdu'l-Baha", "Tahirih", "Bab-u'l-Bab", are all religious names in this same vein given to Babi and Baha'i figures.

I don't think this requirement is a big obstacle. The Qazi is asking you to confirm a belief that you already have, a belief in monotheism and the message of Muhammad. Due to, perhaps, a lack of understanding of the Baha'i Faith, he may not realize that this is something you already do quite believe.





I Thank you wholeheartedly for your kind and timely reply. Your message has given me a hope.

Beseeching prayers,

Abha

Last edited by abha; 02-05-2018 at 10:02 PM.
 
Old 02-05-2018, 09:59 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gnat View Post
The only advice I can give is to consult with your LSA and your NSA.

gnat
Thank you for your kind reply.
Its been 3 months since I wrote to the LSA and then to the NSA.
I haven't received any communications from their end.

Prayerful regards,

Abha
 
Old 02-06-2018, 03:38 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by abha View Post
Thank you for your kind reply.
Its been 3 months since I wrote to the LSA and then to the NSA.
I haven't received any communications from their end.

Prayerful regards,

Abha
Oh, that's sad.

gnat
 
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