jimhabegger

- Baha'u'llah's prescriptions for marriage, and prohibiting adultery, are for relationships that potentially include coitus, and have no relevance for the lawfulness or unlawfulness of sexuality and marriage between two women or two men.

- Baha'u'llah's prohibition against sodomy, and what He said about "the subject of boys," refer to a social practice of using a man as a substitute for a woman, in an imitation of coitus.

- Apart from, possibly, anal sex, sexuality and marriage between two women or two men are issues of chastity, not law, for individuals to decide for themselves, as long as they do not defame the Baha'i community.

- Although Baha'u'llah's prescriptions for marriage, and prohibitions against certain sexual acts, have no relevance to the lawfulness or unlawfulness of sexuality and marriage between two women or two men (apart from anal sex), they might illuminate some relevant spiritual principles.

- Another spiritual principle that might apply is what Baha'u'llah said about our relationships with those in authority in general, and with Baha'i institutions in particular. For some gay members of the Baha'i Faith, in some communities, that might mean living apart from one's partner, and other deprivations, for an indefinite period of time. Some ways of learning to live with that might be whatever ways people learn to live with blindness, or deafness, or any other circumstances which permanently deprive some people of an important part of life.

- One way to help end the stigma and needless restrictions on gay Baha'is might be to study and practice what Abdu'l-Baha said about teaching with wisdom, and apply it to teaching Baha'is about gays and homosexuality. Another way might be to cooperate with Baha'i institutions in protecting the reputation of the Baha'i community.

- One way to help protect gays from abuse by people trying to change them, might be to help gays who want to, to find safe and healthy ways to try to learn to have an honest, happy marriage with a person of the other sex. If no one helps them find safe and healthy ways to pursue that goal, they will have nowhere to go but to people who will harm them.

- What people mean by saying they're gay varies from person to person, but sometimes it's a deeply rooted part of their personality, like being introverted or extroverted.

- The part of some people's personality that they call gay is closely intertwined with valuable personality traits, and can not be repressed without repressing those at the same time.

- If there is any possibility for a person who thinks he's gay to have an honest, healthy and happy marriage with a person of the other sex, it will not be by trying to become a straight person. It will be by appreciating the value of the part of his personality that he calls gay, and treating the temptations that come with it as a challenge to be overcome like any of the other daunting challenges that most of us face in trying to have healthy and happy marriages.

cire perdue

I was gay when I became a Baha'i in 1973. It was a very confusing time then in the 1970's about the issue. Gays were coming out and there really was no info. In the 1980's work by Joseph Nicolosi was published which featured a developmental model of homosexuality which fit my childhood very well. I will never believe there is a genetic cause for homosexuality, but even if there is then one can be in recovery like an alcoholic. It is always part of the person, but one can live a full life. There remains NO solid evidence that the cause is genetic. Due to the age of a child when the emotional insults occur, it feels genetic, but I do not believe it is.

One very important thing to note is that one does not solve homosexuality by having sex with the opposite sex. One has healthy non-sexual relationships with one's own sex that result in increased feelings of self identity that will result in increased sexual attraction to the opposite sex.

I think it is the individual's job to work on these issues. I will give you a link to an inexpensive copy of one of Nicolosi's book. Uh, they are all now expensive, last time I looked they were less than $10: Healing Homosexuality: Case Stories of Reparative Therapy is what I reccommend.

cire perdue

This is a matter best left for those who are directly concerned with it. Speculation by others can be harmful such as people thinking that all someone needs to do is sleep with the opposite sex to solve this problem. There are counselors who work exclusively in this field and recovery groups based on 12 step programs.

Baha'is just need to be firm in the knowledge that Baha'u'llah forbade this behavior for very good reasons. The gay lifestyle is not healthy, and people know nearly nothing about it generally. I have never felt less than accepted in this Faith. WE do not issues about acceptance. However we should never give the idea that we accept gay lifestyles. They are the antithesis of a healthy spiritual life.

jimhabegger

Cire, thank you for that friendly response.

I agree that having sex with someone of the opposite sex is not a way to solve homosexuality. I don't see homosexuality as a problem to be solved at all. I see "homosexuality" as an ambigous term that does nothing but confuse the issues.

I'm not sure what you mean by "gay lifestyle," but whatever it is, I imagine that some of it is healthy and some not, just like any other part of society, including Baha'i communities.

I imagine that some people's genes make them more likely than others to develop personality traits that some people call homosexuality. Regardless of genetic factors, I don't imagine that any part of anyone's personality is impossible to change.

I agree that healthy non-sexual relationships with people of the same sex can help someone who wants to develop new feelings for people of the other sex.

I'm not sure what behavior you think Baha'u'llah prohibited. The only prohibition I know of, that might have anything to do with gays, is against a social practice of using a man as a substitute for a woman, in an imitation of coitus.