gusash

Hey guys. I'm sorry, in advance. I hope this isn't just venting, and I do want this to be productive in some way.

I have realised very recently how much I despise alcohol. I could talk about how much I hate it for a very long time. I literally see the stuff as liquid evil, and have made it clear to all my friends that drink around me, that I will personally pour away any that they're drinking infront of me, unless they stop. Alcohol eventually ruined my fathers life, and it's ruining the lives of those around me. Really the only people I can talk to properly about this is Baha'is, because we don't drink.

My question is, is there any way I can make this hatred productive? I know anger, along with all other emotions, is there for a reason. I don't want to just blow up a brewery but at the moment I'm leaning more in that direction...

jimhabegger

gusash, the only thing that comes to my mind now is when you're feeling angry, turn your mind to the things you want to do for Baha'u'llah's purposes, and pray for that fire that's flaring up inside you to turn that way too.

arthra

Jim wrote above:

Alcohol eventually ruined my fathers life, and it's ruining the lives of those around me. Really the only people I can talk to properly about this is Baha'is, because we don't drink.

My question is, is there any way I can make this hatred productive? I know anger, along with all other emotions, is there for a reason. I don't want to just blow up a brewery but at the moment I'm leaning more in that direction...

My reply:

Well I agree with you it certainly is tragic to see people around us ruining their lives and affecting their loved ones as well.. To see how drinking and driving has affected so many and caused so much suffering.. To see people throwing away their resources on drinking.

There are ways I think to use this "hatred" or convert this energy to some useful purposes..

I think helping and supporting those Baha'is and their friends who are attempting to stop drinking is essential.

Here also may be some guidance for the friends:

"The malign effects of the widespread use of alcoholic beverages upon almost every society in the world cannot but confirm every Bahá'í in the wisdom of Bahá'u'lláh in banning its use, thereby shielding faithful believers from a legion of difficulties . . .

"The Bahá'í community should feel free to call upon such agencies as Alcoholics Anonymous for assistance and upon public agencies who work with the problem, but must realize that the greatest healing of this social and individual disease is God's Cause which in its fulness will eliminate the causes of alcoholism . . ."

~ From letter from the House of Justice to a National Assembly dated 8 August 1979

Workshops: Emancipation of Women andthe Emergence of International Peace

BNASAA - Bahá?í Network on AIDS, Sexuality, Addictions and Abuse

Compilation on the Twelve-Step program and the Baha'i Writings

this is a broken-winged bird…

Also see our own entries on this topic:

12 Step Programs and the Baha'i Faith

cire perdue

Thank God my parents were alcoholics. Had they been dishonest and greasy, or fake Christians there would be no place for me to go. Today I go to AL Anon. I have been to Adult Children of Alcoholics and Co Dependency Anonymous. Without these 12 Step Programs I do not know where my life would be. As a Baha'i I had religion, but I did not know what faith was, day to day, personal faith, but I found a place to learn what faith was because my parents and probably my sister were/are alcoholics.

I have learned it is not a joke to live one day at a time, to let go and let God, and learned not to worry. It is one thing to know these slogans and another to be in a group where other people talk about how they used them and how they affected their life for the better. Going to these meetings also made me appreciate Ruhi Courses MORE, because I realized that if Al Anon meetings were a spiritual experience then so were Ruhi. Spiritual experiences are NOT much more obvious than how mild one feels after reading prayers at Feast. However each one of these tiny "insignificant" meetings, courses, Feasts is part of what changes us.

Somehow you must believe that your father loved you very much or you would not miss him so. It is very hard to be the recepient of that kind of love without the presence of his support. A story: A 32 year old lady just died that was in Al Anon. She collapsed at work on a Monday and was dead Wednesday of a tumor on her brain stem. She left a 2 year old and a husband behind. When she was pregnant, the husband left her and was even with someone else. However she did everything, EVERYTHING righ, did not blame him, continued to love him, and once the baby was born he came back and they were happy until she died. He is horribly devastated now by what he did. However I told him I was proud of him, that he had come back. He said, "She did it." I told him, "I don't accept that, because you accepted her love or it would not have happend."

It is just as important to accept love as it is to give it. True she made the effort, and did all things right, but he did NOT have to accept it. You are kind of in a situation like that. You are left behind. I know it hurts and seems that if he loved you enough, he would not have done this. I can only tell you that pain drives people to do many things they would not otherwise do. Adding alcohol in there can make it easy to take one's life. However with the presence of true chemical imbalanced mental illness rational considerations are just not possible.

I will not even suggest forgiving your father, because I think that is a process that requires a lot of examination of events and history before that occurs, but resenting him hurts you. Resentment is taking poison and expecting the other person to die. Let go of resentment. Please consider resources besides just dealing with this by yourself.

tonyfish58

I have lived in communities in the far North of Australia where it is destroying the community. I too dislike it with a passion.

I just make my stance known and have to leave the rest up to what will be.

I have also brought this topic up on forums. If you want to be called many a name I suggest you try this

Basically people are just going to have to find this out the hard way for themselves, nothing I say will change their minds.

While in one of these communities I had a Baha'i visit that was a Councillor and alcohol was a specialty, he told me not to waste my time trying to get people off the alcohol as you may save one in a hundred.

He suggested we spend our time trying to prevent people taking it up in the first place...I agree with this type of action.

Regards Tony

LordOfGoblins

channel your "hatred" into becoming learned. God loves wisdom and wisdom is a trait lacking greatly amongst young peoples these days IMO.

cire perdue

Around 1990 there were 6 treatment centers for alcoholism where I live. By 2000 there were 2. The reason was that treatment for alcoholism had NOT been shown to be effective, not 28 day programs. Yes, 90 day programs showed more effectiveness, and 6 month programs really, really succeeded, but no one would invest in those, so treatment centers for alcohholism went by the wayside. However what has not gone by the wayside and is still the single most effective treatment of alcoholism is AA.

However even AA recognizes that until someone either hits bottom or chooses for him/herself to get sober that nothing can get an alcoholic to stop drinking. There are some reasons for this. First it is physically addictive. Alcohol replaces neurotransmitters in the brain, and the body does not allow someone to stop drinking. There may be some gaps, but in late stage drinking, the alcoholic needs medical help to stop. Stopping alcohol use with someone with a long term addiction can be life-threatening.

Old timers used to sit with someone and spoon feed them small amounts of liquor in order to prevent seizures. So it is not applicable to ever think someone has a choice about drinking after a point. Secondly a alcoholic does not know how to live without drinking. AA says their purpose is not to keep someone sober, but to teach the alcoholic how to live a sober life.

ALL, All of the treatment programs that I know of here use AA. They either take patients to AA meetings or they hosts AA meetings inhouse. Part of discharge planning is for planning getting to AA meetings. Alcoholism is worse than one thinks, it is a disease. It is as inherent as diabetes and if one thinks otherwise about it, then one is set up to feel more hurt than helps. That means we are hurting ourselves even more with faulty thinking if we say he/she loved alcohol more than me....... The truth is he/she really, truly did not have that choice.