zofiszaf

Hello,

I am a Catholic girl from Lodz, Poland. I just wanted to know if its usual for you to have interfaith marriages? What is your perception about it and all.

I found some threads which are similar to my query, but I thought I post a separate one.

My boyfriend is a non iranian bahai, he is South Asian. He studied in Poland and now works here.

I look forward raising our children Catholic in future, what do you think about it? Is it wrong? Please share freely

I want to hear your indept views

Take care

Emilia

It's a somewhat different situation, because my husband was more of a lapsed Catholic at the time. But we did decide to have a Catholic marriage ceremony as well as a Baha'i one, and that required consultation with a Catholic priest for some while beforehand.

This may be relevant:

I can tell you from some personal experience that if you want a Catholic wedding ceremony it may matter greatly in which diocese you seek that ceremony. In my hometown the diocese was very conservative and had problems with a Catholic marrying a Lutheran. If we had gone there we would've had to promise to raise our children Catholic so we could not get married there, as there is a problem with Baha'i law doing that.

Instead we went to the Archdiocese of Detroit (where my husband was from anyway) then known as the most liberal archdiocese in the U.S.

We did have to promise to teach our children about Christ and Christianity, and that was an easy promise for me to make. Seriously you can't really understand Western literature and history without knowledge of Christianity! Besides, as a Baha'i why would I object to any children being taught about Christ? Um...I believe in Christ? *scratches head*

If my husband later had decided to become actively Catholic I would've been happy to participate as part of the family, provided there was no effort to shut out the family from taking part in Baha'i life as well. But my husband was not that kind of guy, nor is it something I would do myself.

Other couples may be quite different. It really has to be looked at for each individual couple. Sometimes getting help from an independent 3rd party can be helpful. Actually, the priest we consulted was very helpful, though one might argue he wasn't entirely "independent."

Interfaith marriages are fairly common where I live, and if the work up front isn't done carefully there can be some problems, but for the most part it seems to work out fairly well.

One of the things that may be most important for you to reflect on is how you feel about your children being raised both Catholics and Baha'is. If you can't conceive of being comfortable having your children be involved in Baha'i life, that is kind of a big red warning flag there.

How will you feel if your husband teaches the children to say Baha'i prayers and sing Baha'i songs? Are you comfortable sitting over dinner hearing him quote Baha'u'llah in order to guide the children morally and spiritually? If you're ok with that and he's ok with you doing the same from a Catholic point of view, then I think you have a pretty good shot at success, especially if the welfare of the children and family unity are kept foremost in mind.

In an interfaith marriage baptizing the children is possible:

Also, when it comes to children, any parent would do really well to consider that no matter what you raise them in, eventually they will choose for themselves anyway. Ultimately all any parent can do is show a child possibilities.

Well, I hope some of this at least has been helpful. For what it's worth, my husband and I have been married 27 years now. Our two children are in their early 20s and seem to be well-adjusted.

zofiszaf

Thank you for your email Emily.

He wants to inform his children in future about his faith, but I am free to educate them about the Catholic faith too. I think it is fare, but little worried for future.

I am from a small Polish town and not American ... very small person and insignificant in politics. So little dreams I dont want crushed.

Emilia

If you are honest with yourselves and with each other this can work out very well. But be sure to always communicate with each other, because things that are not consulted about can fester to the point it's more difficult to deal with.

Family unity is a very important principle in the Baha'i Faith. For those in interfaith marriages it means we have to be careful to be fair in how children are trained.

From a Baha'i's point of view if a child grows up and chooses to follow Christ, we might be disappointed of course. But it's not like it's a ticket to Hell or anything if a child chooses not to become a Baha'i.

I don't know what your feelings are on that score. For some Christians if their child became a Baha'i later on they might think the child's soul is in mortal danger.

I know some Protestant Christians would have such a fear, but my understanding of both Roman and Orthodox Catholic views is that non-Christians are not automatically lost if they follow another faith.

Obviously the Roman Catholics and Orthodox Catholics would believe that the surer path to God is through their faith. That seems natural enough for someone of any religion.

Half my husband's family is Polish* so I have certainly seen how important the Catholic faith is within his family.

I can say this though, there should be no cause to fear that you would not at all be able to teach any children about your beliefs. And if he ever gives you grief on that score, wave the phrase "family unity" around that will probably solve any problems you have.

*Hamtramck, Michigan is so very Polish that when Pope John Paul II visited the U.S. he specifically went there. There's a very fine mural painted in honor of that visit.

BlinkeyBill

I know the heading is regarding Catholic and Baha'i, but maybe my story is of interest.

I met and fell in love with A Catholic girl when I was young and of course eventually we started making plans for our marriage.
I was also Christian but not Catholic and here I found a problem little did I know that I would have to have lessons or meetings with the Catholic Priest and also sign a paper saying I would raise my children as Catholic. This I flatly refused to do as I feel this is a decision that should be made by the child at a reasonable age when they can decide for themselves, it should not be forced upon anyone.
I had no problem with meeting with the Priest and discussing our belief in Christ but I refused to sign the paper, he said he understood my reluctance but he could not marry us without it.
Well there was great upset in the family my fiancee crying and everyone upset. I went home and prayed about the situation and meditated for days finally I considered I had found a solution. So my bride to be and I returned to the Priest, I asked him did he believe that God was aware of everything we said and did, he agreed that yes he did. So I told him I would sign the paper but I was declaring in front of all in the room and God that my children would not be brought up as Catholic they would choose their own faith when they were old enough.
Well to my surprise he said OK that was fine with him, he only needed the signed paper.
Of course my respect for him and his church was not high, but we married.
I had three lovely children and my wife and I consulted and beside ourselves used to choose a Sunday school to send them which was not my church or hers.
We had some wonderful united years but sadly during our 15th year we struggled with some grave issues and separated, only years later did we discover my wife was suffering from Schizophrenia, if we had known this could have been treated with medication and perhaps saved our marriage.

But we did have 15 good years, so inter religious marriages can work.