Abdul Baha kindness question

Sep 2018
25
usa
#11
With this I have struggled. What do you do with a compulsive liar? Someone who lies about many things, inconsequential or consequential. Who can be very helpful and kind, yet hate and conspiracy theories lurk just below the surface. And who is married to one of your two best friends. I feel locked into just accepting that this is the way he is, and show him the same kindness I show everyone. I will not abandon my friend. She needs the social outlet my husband and I provide them. She is struggling with this character trait herself. My other very long time Baha 'i friend will not socialize with them as a couple. She will only meet with our friend alone.
Become the embodiment of trustworthiness, so much so, that the environment surrounding you, becomes a refuge for anyone in which lying would not be necessary, and they would rather speak the truth without fear of being judged or being looked down upon. :)

sorry for the grammar, im just a dumb college dropout:zany:
 
Likes: becky
Jun 2014
1,008
Wisconsin
#12
That kind of contradicts this passage doesn't it?

“O ye beloved of the Lord! The Kingdom of God is founded upon equity and justice, and also upon mercy, compassion, and kindness to every living soul. Strive ye then with all your heart to treat compassionately all humankind—except for those who have some selfish, private motive, or some disease of the soul. Kindness cannot be shown the tyrant, the deceiver, or the thief, because, far from awakening them to the error of their ways, it maketh them to continue in their perversity as before. No matter how much kindliness ye may expend upon the liar, he will but lie the more, for he believeth you to be deceived, while ye understand him but too well, and only remain silent out of your extreme compassion.” Selections From the Writings of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, p. 158
Depends on the definition of "kindness" used.

If you enable someone's vices, and thus cause them to become even more lost and entrapped to their self, I for one would not think that is kind.

I'd say all the verses together might give us the idea to be kind to all persons, but be mindful that what seems like kindness can be instead serve to only enable the vices of others, in which case the kind thing to do would be not to enable such things.
 
Jul 2017
287
Olympia, WA, USA
#13
There is no contradiction in the two statements.

The first is a quote where the subjective point is “any”(person). If you go back to the rest of the paragraph it is talking about a stranger you come across. They would not already be identided as a “tyrant, deceiver, or theif”.

The second quotes subjective point is either a, “tyrant, deceiver or thief”.

What these two sayings together say is coherent if looked in a larger context.

Love
Thanks. I went and read the whole passage that contained the first quote and I can see the context now. Context is very important. :) That is a passage I never read, good passage. I just added it to my collection.

Love
 
Jul 2017
287
Olympia, WA, USA
#14
Depends on the definition of "kindness" used.

If you enable someone's vices, and thus cause them to become even more lost and entrapped to their self, I for one would not think that is kind.

I'd say all the verses together might give us the idea to be kind to all persons, but be mindful that what seems like kindness can be instead serve to only enable the vices of others, in which case the kind thing to do would be not to enable such things.
I have learned that I have to take that second passage very seriously, regarding people who have a selfish, private motive, and people who lie. I am very nice, too nice, and then I get stabbed in the back. As a result I let a tenants stay in our rental house with the promise to catch up on the rent "later" but then these tenants decided to move out, and promised to pay the debt of $6750 after they left. I e-mailed them shortly after that but they ignored me.

Now I am going to have to track them down, with help if necessary. If they agree to sign a stipulation agreement and make payments they can avoid being sued in court; if not I will get a judgment against them in small claims court. Their credit will be ruined and they will never get a rental again let alone ever purchase a house. I am sorry I have to do this but I cannot allow people to take advantage of me like that. I am really angry but I have been too busy dealing with other things to do anything about this yet. I have a tenant living there who actually pays the rent on time, so I have to take care of repairs that house needs for him.

Not all people are alike. We had a tenant in our other rental who owed $10,800 in back rent and everyone told me I should evict him and cut my losses, but I had a gut feeling he was sincere, and as it turned out he paid the entire debt in two payments. He is behind on rent again, but at least I know he meant what he said when he promised to pay as soon as he had money coming in from his business.

That quote from Abdu'l-Baha means a whole lot to me, it is my constant reminder that I am not a bad person for expecting to be treated fairly and told the truth. Some people will walk all over you if you let them, seeing your kindness as weakness. I sued another tenant a few years ago and she found out I meant business. She was so sure she could fool the judge by lying about the house but he was not dumb. I got the judgment but I never went after the money because i considered her dangerous and i did not want her to harass the tenants who moved in after her, the ones who owe me $6750. I could still go after the money but she is so dangerous I do not think it is worth the risk. She could send one of her sons to kill me. These other tenants who owe me the money are not dangerous or mentally unstable like her, they just took advantage of me.

Certainly, love needs to be tempered by justice. This is the day of justice. :eek:
 

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