Courtesy in Courtship

Jul 2017
78
Denver, CO
#1
Suppose a man has gone on a date with a girl.

This girl has been involved with the Faith socially for two years, but has not yet reached the point of declaring her faith in Baha'u'llah. Nevertheless, she regularly attends devotions.

He is unsure about his opinion of or feelings for her as of yet.

There is another girl he is interested in.

Would it be discourteous for for him to bring the other girl to devotions as a first "date"?
 
Jul 2017
64
Germany
#2
Maybe "dating" means something different in Central Europe than it does in North America but as I understand it dating of this kind is something romantic to get to know each other before becoming committed partners. So if I date a woman whom I want to become my partner I wouldn't even consider dating another one.

I think one main point about Western culture nowadays is that we eschew making decisions. We try everything before reducing our options. I never understood this trend. Maybe I'm too old-faschioned for that but I would rather try to decide to become involved with someone before checking other options first.
 
Oct 2014
1,781
Stockholm
#3
Suppose a man has gone on a date with a girl.

This girl has been involved with the Faith socially for two years, but has not yet reached the point of declaring her faith in Baha'u'llah. Nevertheless, she regularly attends devotions.

He is unsure about his opinion of or feelings for her as of yet.

There is another girl he is interested in.

Would it be discourteous for for him to bring the other girl to devotions as a first "date"?
I don't see anything here that even smells of dating or courtship. Bringing someone to a devotional, whether man or woman, is bringing that person to a devotional. Full stop.

Best

from

gnat
 
Jun 2014
1,021
Wisconsin
#4
I... don't understand why one would do that as a "first date". Either the other girl is already a Baha'i, in which case she was probably already going to the devotional, or the other girl is not a Baha'i, in which case that is a really weird thing to try to use as a first date.

Unless the girl in question is as interested in theology and comparative religion as I am (read: a LOT), I think that invitation would be more off-putting than enticing.

Furthermore in the example the first prospective partner is already regularly attending those events. Wouldn't bringing another girl as an explicit date only cause pointless romantic-comedy-style drama?? :p

I don't think the question of whether or not this is "courteous" even needs to be brought up. Nor does the question need to be put in a Baha'i prospective. It's just not a good idea no matter how you look at it. ;)
 
Oct 2014
1,781
Stockholm
#5
Well, I have no good advice to offer. I gave up my efforts to combine my faith with my family life many years ago. Otherwise, I wouldn't have two darling daughters - the loveliest things I know. :)

The only thing I have to say is that, judging from my experience, there is a time to be Bahá'ís, and there is a time to be a man and a woman.

Best,

from

gnat
 
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