Question from a Baha'i parent: Can my teenage son have a girlfriend?

Jan 2020
1
Canada
Hi,

I'm in Vancouver and the father of a 16 year old son who my wife and I are very proud of. He's a spectacular student and a very devout Baha'i. I don't want to get into too much detail but to summarize it, he wants to ask one of his classmates to go on an upcoming prom with him. He's told that they've known each other for a while now but before he could officially ask her out, he came to ask my permission. Now my wife and I are completely find with this but we are also wondering if it's okay thing to do as a Baha'i. To narrow it down, we're wondering if it's accepted for a Baha'i high school student to have a boyfriend/girlfriend, or if it's much too early for them?

Thank you,
Kourosh.
 
Jan 2020
8
Middle United States
Well. most Baha'is in "Western" countries consider it perfectly acceptable. Certainly, Baha'i personal and sexual morals are far stricter than that common in our societies and that can lead to misconceptions in dating, but I dated as a young Baha'i in the 1980s (some of my "dates" with Persian women did involve family members, which I respected). My children dated other persons. The difference is that dating for Baha'is should be about getting familiar with other persons and socialization, not "making out" or sexual gratification.
There is a good blog by a Baha'i professional on the subject: How to Get Thoroughly Acquainted: One Baha’i's Perspective on Dating - Baha'i Blog
 
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Mar 2015
249
Bend area, Oregon
Kourosh,

I want to compliment your son's respectfulness toward you. That also says much about you. Given that your son appears to only want to ask this girl to the prom there shouldn't be a problem at all with them going together as friends. Of course should they want to further explore a relationship beyond that, then Lurcking's dating advice would apply.

-LR
 
Sep 2010
4,627
Normanton, Far North West Queensland
Hi - Welcome Kludgeon, thank you for the question.

It is perfectly Ok for a Baha'i youth to have a either
Hi,

I'm in Vancouver and the father of a 16 year old son who my wife and I are very proud of. He's a spectacular student and a very devout Baha'i. I don't want to get into too much detail but to summarize it, he wants to ask one of his classmates to go on an upcoming prom with him. He's told that they've known each other for a while now but before he could officially ask her out, he came to ask my permission. Now my wife and I are completely find with this but we are also wondering if it's okay thing to do as a Baha'i. To narrow it down, we're wondering if it's accepted for a Baha'i high school student to have a boyfriend/girlfriend, or if it's much too early for them?

Thank you,
Kourosh.
Welcome Kourosh, good to see you here. I also support what was offered above. I see your have a great relationship and that your son would know what the writings offer.

There is not a lot in the writings specifically about Dating, there is a little on courtship when one is considering a future partner and some of this may apply to dating as well.

I have found this link useful in the past, but it is a step up from a Prom Date. Baha'i Faith Relationships

I have heard that some have chosen to chaperone, I see this would indeed be the talk of the night.

All the best and we wish you always well and happy. Regards Tony
 
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Oct 2014
1,833
Stockholm
Hi,

I'm in Vancouver and the father of a 16 year old son who my wife and I are very proud of. He's a spectacular student and a very devout Baha'i. I don't want to get into too much detail but to summarize it, he wants to ask one of his classmates to go on an upcoming prom with him. He's told that they've known each other for a while now but before he could officially ask her out, he came to ask my permission. Now my wife and I are completely find with this but we are also wondering if it's okay thing to do as a Baha'i. To narrow it down, we're wondering if it's accepted for a Baha'i high school student to have a boyfriend/girlfriend, or if it's much too early for them?

Thank you,
Kourosh.
It seems like your son is going to have a nice time with a pleasant young lady.

P. S. By the way, are there any ballroom dancing classes in your neighbourhood? Could be a good idea to offer him a course. I've always thought that we Bahá'ís are very good at sitting, but could benefit from more movement.

Best

from

gnat
 
Last edited:
Jul 2017
341
Kettering, Ohio USA
Welcome, Kourosh. I like the links others have given about this, and have nothing to add. I hope your son develops a good relationship with this woman no matter whether it turns out to be a serious relationship or not.
 
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