Sex before marriage

Feb 2014
3
Texas
#42
Pre marital sex

I am a divorced man in my late 50's. I am past the age of having children (took care of that 9 years ago)' have raised my family and they are happily married.
My question is thus, if sex is only for the purpose of reproduction does that mean I can never have sex per the faith. (Had a vasectomy).

Also at my age since my children are raised and no more will be produced, plus the same would be true for any woman I meet. Why am I forbidden from having intimate relations or feelings for someone?

I feel like the faith is telling me that because of my past I am useless to the faith.
 
Feb 2014
3
Texas
#43
Help

Please someone answer my question from a previous post.
Also if I am reading correctly hugging or kissing a GF is forbidden as well.
It seems that aspects of our faith have not evolved with society and medical advances.

Dave
 
Jan 2014
88
it's too cold
#44
Please someone answer my question from a previous post.
Also if I am reading correctly hugging or kissing a GF is forbidden as well.
It seems that aspects of our faith have not evolved with society and medical advances.

Dave
No, Shoghi Effendi says kissing spreads diseases and he was right.

Kissing can spread meningitis and kissing multiple people increases that risk. Mononucleosis can be spread through kissing. There are many, many diseases spread by saliva.

Kissing Diseases - Infectious Diseases Spread Through Kissing and Saliva
 
Jan 2014
88
it's too cold
#45
I am a divorced man in my late 50's. I am past the age of having children (took care of that 9 years ago)' have raised my family and they are happily married.
My question is thus, if sex is only for the purpose of reproduction does that mean I can never have sex per the faith. (Had a vasectomy).

Also at my age since my children are raised and no more will be produced, plus the same would be true for any woman I meet. Why am I forbidden from having intimate relations or feelings for someone?

I feel like the faith is telling me that because of my past I am useless to the faith.
Shoghi Effendi said that no permanent contraceptives should be used, but yes, you can still have sex.
 
Feb 2014
3
Texas
#46
So pre marital sex is OK?
And if kissing is not ok, because of spreading of diesese, than shouldn't anything that may potentially spread diesese be outlawed? Ex, working in a hospital.
 
Mar 2013
491
none
#47
Whats wrong with the smurfs, a whole village and onle one blondy, and not even one is busy with getting her "layed", its just all about that good smurif village and that evil t gargamel, that actually made blondy to lure themto makedesire to lure them out of there village, but they just smurfed her, so she became nice and friendly. And so it is just day for day.

Did I say that? And what do I care about the smurfs? They not even have sexual reproductive organs, so its that village and not will take her first. All they do is the same, trying to beeing good and keep it in the village and not in that kitchen with that cat at that lunatic smurf stalker.

And only one father, how could he even be... so just that story...


However, whats that, shame is all the sin one apple story, one easter egg and how you can say, one fairy tale... and its just not over yet, in
grow up, this is not a fairy tale, this is the real life.

Ist that watching cartoons, blue smurf village and shades of grey in unpleaseant wrong turned pleasures of last joy and one life time to - that and nothing more.
The smurfs that cartoon for kids, every day is a good day, and they not even know sex, nor the option. They just try to be nice to her, that can be to some jealousy and so trouble, and each of them have more ore less that what is his try to impress her.

Smurfs - Men - Its just the smurfs can't what men does. the just impress but the create nothing but more trouble... just the smurfs cant do what we can. And they learn, that they are all named to there impression ... to you in that sceen...

In the smurf village is only one father, and he just does not what he could, nor is there a female. Its one myst.. or just a cartoon . as the aesop fable was to men, what men is not in action and is not in that animal. Its that beast that is us, that is a beast...
Luring them out of the village to ...eat them alive...who is that what is outside that oldmen and his cat... if not a big city without smurfs, but a kitchen that is more to be a klind of prison, and the cat is not hunting the mouse its waiting for dinner the served and cooked already, to get his fang with his master... a father out of smurfs but with a kitchen...

The shame of men is his pride, but either to small, too little or too this or that, so its feared to be seen naked, to be not good enought. And whats wrong with that little fucking, if not that its just not one that would fuck anybody, all we can is get fucked by that what thinks love is something to trade, and childs something to make and like a job, or like a stock market to have some pof this and that ... as there is waht we call "goods" the meanimngsless value, that not tells us, that we just do allk that madness to us, our childrens, and to each other, and just cant stop because we would not fuck like that, because we would knew that you better fuck for good or it will be that what fucks your mind out of your egg heads to wrath them to some cookies,...and not walks out without minding and baking and been actually done, but its taht cookie stealer...
 
Last edited:
May 2011
507
Australia
#48
I am a divorced man in my late 50's. I am past the age of having children (took care of that 9 years ago)' have raised my family and they are happily married.
My question is thus, if sex is only for the purpose of reproduction does that mean I can never have sex per the faith. (Had a vasectomy).

Also at my age since my children are raised and no more will be produced, plus the same would be true for any woman I meet. Why am I forbidden from having intimate relations or feelings for someone?

I feel like the faith is telling me that because of my past I am useless to the faith.
Dear dgoldey,

You certainly can get married again, even though you can't sire children, and are not planning to have any more (presumably even if you could). You have raised your children and it's my opinion that you should not feel any compulsion *at all* to increase the number of your progeny.

Shoghi Effendi also said that if a couple can't have children they can certainly get married. I feel that some baha'is can sound quite legalistic about this topic sometimes. The Guardian said that while having a family (children) is the primary reason for marriage, he said that it is *not the only reason for marriage.
From a common sense point of view the majority of people will have children to keep the human race continuing, and having two parents who love each other (family) is the safe way to do that. But we're not in danger of being under-populated at the moment.

There are other reasons for marriage such as companionship, a safe expression of intimacy, and supporting each other in your lives and serving the Faith too.

Pre-marital sex, however, is not okay. (Where did you read that, if I can ask?)
As for the issue of kissing /hugging, I would suggest -try not to get too hung up on it.. The fact is, there is no baha'i law, saying you can't hug, -or kiss, for that matter.

-Having said that, the focus is, on trying to reserve intimacy for marriage. I guess the trick is to just treat dating as getting to know someone as friends first, and seeing if you can imagine being married to them. And getting into 'french' kissing can lead to things getting out of hand sometimes. (Better to avoid if you can?)

I think I'd find it difficult dating someone I really liked and feeling comfortable with them and not ever hugging them. So I think I'd allow myself to hug, if I wanted to. -(just speaking for myself at the moment).
Haven't put as much thought into this post as I'd like, but sending as is..
 
Last edited:
Jan 2014
88
it's too cold
#49
So pre marital sex is OK?
And if kissing is not ok, because of spreading of diesese, than shouldn't anything that may potentially spread diesese be outlawed? Ex, working in a hospital.
Because kissing "arouses appetites that can't be fulfilled except in marriage". No, you can't have premarital sex.
 
Oct 2011
4,213
Quilimari,Chile
#50
Please someone answer my question from a previous post.
Also if I am reading correctly hugging or kissing a GF is forbidden as well.
It seems that aspects of our faith have not evolved with society and medical advances.

Dave
Dear friend, let us not get too bogged down with laws.

One yes laws are supposed to be obeyed.
Two who has not broken a law?
Three God is about winning peoples hearts. who is greater than God re forgiveness, what you have done in the past is just that PAST. God is only concerned with your heart now, if you are honest in wishing forgiveness, so tomorrow is in fact the first day of your life if you wish it to be.

Do not worry about your past dear Dave, start today and follow the example of the Master when he says little by little and day by day, no one is a perfect Baha'i let alone after they accept the faith, we are all weak beings, who struggle to live the life.
In this faith we are forbidden to confess our sins, say as the Catholics do, as we are told God does not want ourslves to feel shame in front of others. Only to God do we confess our sins.

So relax It realy is not so difficult to be a Baha'i.
Loving regards to you