- May 2011
- 507
- Australia
Dear Friends, I wonder if I can write this succinctly but still get my message across.
I feel really troubled by this entry below in Lights of Guidance, which I must have read two decades ago.:
Now, I realise it starts out referencing a Pilgrim's note, however, Shoghi Effendi, through His secretary, conveys 'we should strive to achieve this exalted standard', a standard described in the Pilgrim's note.
I also realise it is not 'law' per se, but surely, something the Guardian affirms as the true spirit of the teachings on the subject of sex', which is also shared in a letter by the House of Justice to an NSA, is something normally baha'is will feel compelled to endeavour to follow, right?
My 'issue' with it, is that I feel, -at least in a place where I am, that is, Australia, that it is extremely unrealistic, and maybe not possible to achieve for a majority of people.
Perhaps easy if you've grown up with very traditional upbringing and traditional parents, and culture.
Also given that I've had baha'is encourage me to date non-baha'is, I feel it would not work at all.
How many males who have no religious leaning, would accept to get engaged without even having embraced their loved one, like, more than once??
For I have found, in my experience, that most men in my country are non-religious, and don't have much appreciation for the Faith's standard of chastity sorry to say. - More like, many have that 'derisory attitude' towards virtue and solid worth that the Guardian mentioned some people have in this (modern) world.
But getting back to myself.. I have difficulty, for I feel this perceived requirement, actually lead to severe self-harm /self-neglect in my life, which lead to a long-term worsening of health problems - (not really deliberate, but inadvertent).
For I felt for a while that I couldn't even date.. I remember during a very difficult period, I had a (non-baha'i) man show interest. We went out a few times, but , -What if I wanted to hug him, or kiss him even?? It just seemed too hard to avoid, so after a number dates I avoided him after a while, yet he may have even made a nice partner for me..
It is very late as I write, so I will need to cut this short, but in a nutshell, I don't believe that hugging someone has to lead to sex or undue temptation..- at least not for all people, and I have to wonder how many single people in the western world would become baha'is if they knew of this exhortation.
Again, I don't feel this 'standard' is realistic, - or necessary (?)
Is it such a good thing if it leads to withdrawal from relationships and total isolation?
I just read this posted by Esmeryld on another thread and it spoke to me...
'If any faith is too difficult to follow for most people, it will not grow and thrive..'
This is the entry in Lof Guidance I'm referencing:
"The pilgrim's note reports the Master as saying: 'Women and men must not embrace each other when not married, or not about to be married. They must not kiss each other... If they wish to greet each other, or comfort each other, they may take each other by the hand.' In a letter to an individual written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi it is said: 'The Master's words to... which you quoted, can certainly be taken as the true spirit of the teachings on the subject of sex. We must strive to achieve this exalted standard.' (October 19, 1974)
(From a letter of the Universal of Justice to the National Spiritual Assembly of the United States, February 10, 1974)
(Compilations, Lights of Guidance, p. 439)
I hope I have not saddened anyone with what I have written.
I feel really troubled by this entry below in Lights of Guidance, which I must have read two decades ago.:
Now, I realise it starts out referencing a Pilgrim's note, however, Shoghi Effendi, through His secretary, conveys 'we should strive to achieve this exalted standard', a standard described in the Pilgrim's note.
I also realise it is not 'law' per se, but surely, something the Guardian affirms as the true spirit of the teachings on the subject of sex', which is also shared in a letter by the House of Justice to an NSA, is something normally baha'is will feel compelled to endeavour to follow, right?
My 'issue' with it, is that I feel, -at least in a place where I am, that is, Australia, that it is extremely unrealistic, and maybe not possible to achieve for a majority of people.
Perhaps easy if you've grown up with very traditional upbringing and traditional parents, and culture.
Also given that I've had baha'is encourage me to date non-baha'is, I feel it would not work at all.
How many males who have no religious leaning, would accept to get engaged without even having embraced their loved one, like, more than once??
For I have found, in my experience, that most men in my country are non-religious, and don't have much appreciation for the Faith's standard of chastity sorry to say. - More like, many have that 'derisory attitude' towards virtue and solid worth that the Guardian mentioned some people have in this (modern) world.
But getting back to myself.. I have difficulty, for I feel this perceived requirement, actually lead to severe self-harm /self-neglect in my life, which lead to a long-term worsening of health problems - (not really deliberate, but inadvertent).
For I felt for a while that I couldn't even date.. I remember during a very difficult period, I had a (non-baha'i) man show interest. We went out a few times, but , -What if I wanted to hug him, or kiss him even?? It just seemed too hard to avoid, so after a number dates I avoided him after a while, yet he may have even made a nice partner for me..
It is very late as I write, so I will need to cut this short, but in a nutshell, I don't believe that hugging someone has to lead to sex or undue temptation..- at least not for all people, and I have to wonder how many single people in the western world would become baha'is if they knew of this exhortation.
Again, I don't feel this 'standard' is realistic, - or necessary (?)
Is it such a good thing if it leads to withdrawal from relationships and total isolation?
I just read this posted by Esmeryld on another thread and it spoke to me...
'If any faith is too difficult to follow for most people, it will not grow and thrive..'
This is the entry in Lof Guidance I'm referencing:
"The pilgrim's note reports the Master as saying: 'Women and men must not embrace each other when not married, or not about to be married. They must not kiss each other... If they wish to greet each other, or comfort each other, they may take each other by the hand.' In a letter to an individual written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi it is said: 'The Master's words to... which you quoted, can certainly be taken as the true spirit of the teachings on the subject of sex. We must strive to achieve this exalted standard.' (October 19, 1974)
(From a letter of the Universal of Justice to the National Spiritual Assembly of the United States, February 10, 1974)
(Compilations, Lights of Guidance, p. 439)
I hope I have not saddened anyone with what I have written.